


only symphonies

by heonied



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Angst, Businessman Hyunwoo, Developing Relationship, Eventual Smut, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Singer kihyun, Slow Burn, hyunghyuk are a side pairing but theyre there ok
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-04-24 10:34:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 30,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14353707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heonied/pseuds/heonied
Summary: Hyunwoo catches the boy's eyes for a moment. Just a tiny fracture of time where he looks over the crowd, most of it focused on themselves, chatting in hushed tones, only the front rows still paying undivided attention to the stage, Hyunwoo amongst them.Hyunwoo tugs at his tie thoughtlessly, feeling a bit hot and blaming it on the wine hitting his head too hard.Where Kihyun is a singer at a high end club and Hyunwoo just happens to fall in love with his voice.





	1. Chapter 1

Dim lights and gentle whispers of nimble fingers dancing on piano keys, as he enters the club, briefcase in hand. He feels stuffy, tugs at his black tie lightly in an overly desperate attempt to let more air reach his lungs. The place is way too crowded for such an expensive lounge, everyone so bloody fancy and serious. But he figures he must look the same, dark tuxedo perfectly fit for his body straining itself around his shoulders, hair gently pushed back, looking unintentionally messy as if he hadn't spent half an hour getting it to look presentable. Everything to make a good impression. Son Hyunwoo was there, after all, to convince a man way out of his social league, to sign a contract that may or may not make Hyunwoo himself filthy rich as well.  
  
He walks up to a woman that looks important enough to be one of the managers, or at least someone who works here.  
  
"How may I help you?" she offers an overly enthusiastic smile, as is her custom most likely.  
   
"I have a reservation here for the name Jung." he responds calmly, eyeing the room.  
  
"Ah! Mr Son, I assume? Your colleagues have arrived just a second ago, let me show you right in." she puts down the file she was holding in her hands and with great composure leads him through a maze of tables.  
  
The one she makes a stop at is directly in front of the stage, in a way less private spot than Hyunwoo would have imagined. Mr. Jung seems to catch his gaze and read his mind perfectly as he stands up and offers his hand.  
  
"I am a fan of live music." he states with amusement as Hyunwoo squeezes his chubby hand.  
  
"So am I." Hyunwoo lies with a kind smile. "Good to finally meet you, sir. Mr. Lee." he looks over at his colleague and they exchange an acknowledging head nod. "I'm sorry for arriving late."  
  
"Fashionably late!" the businessman exclaims "It is expected from one, of course."  
  
He is an elderly looking man, skin crinkled in every corner, his hair all grey despite only being in his early fifties. He seems very cheerful, almost unfitting to how nervous Hyunwoo feels and how official the atmosphere is. Thankfully he has Lee Minhyuk with him, an overly enthusiastic person who he's sure will get along with Mr Jung just splendidly.  
  
They sit down and engage in small talk, Mr Jung expressing his admiration for this club and how glad he is to be meeting them in a place so pleasant. Minhyuk is chatty, as per usual, and after they had ordered an overpriced bottle of wine and drank a glass each, the younger boy is busy sweettalking their kind business partner while Hyunwoo takes a look at his surroundings.  
  
The live piano concerto has come to an end a few minutes ago, being replaced with a quiet playback of some light jazz music.  
Mr Jung looks at his watch.  
  
"8pm!" he says as if he was waiting for this exact hour. "Let us enjoy this live performance and talk business afterwards, shall we?" he turns towards the stage after Minhyuk nods his head in agreement.  
  
Hyunwoo sighs.  
This will be a long evening, he thinks.  
  
The lights on the stage dim, slowly revealing two spotlights shining brighty on the pianist and an empty spot by the standing  microphone. As the musician starts his beautiful one man symphony, another person walks onto the stage slowly.  
  
A short looking boy, wearing a black suit and a dark burgundy bowtie, black hair styled back elegantly, his perky nose glowing slightly in the light.  
  
Most of the audience vigorously claps as he stands in front of the microphone, smiling shyly at the ovation.

Hyunwoo isn't someone who listens to a lot of music or finds himself a fan of any particular artist, hell, the only times he does indeed listen to it is in the car on his way to work, his mind too busy to even focus on the lyrics and melodies properly. But when he hears the singer begin and witnesses him hit the first high note, he furrows his eyebrows feeling strangely drawn into it. Something about  the perfectly delievered sounds tugging gently at his heart.  
  
There's something about this boy's voice, how it's so high and melodic, how the words slip off his tongue with a slight lisp and how he closes his eyes passionately, nose scrunching a bit when he tries to sing in the perfect key. Hyunwoo finds himself leaning back and relaxing, the melodic performance making him feel less stressed and a strange sense of safety growing somewhere inside him.  
  
His mind notes how pretty the singer looks. The boy seems quite young, younger than Hyunwoo for sure, cute but fierce. Pretty face structures, soft jawline and small eyes. And maybe Hyunwoo's mind was telling him that he is quite his type.  
  
During the second song, one even slower and harder vocally, Hyunwoo catches the boy's eyes for a moment. Just a tiny fracture of time where he looks over the crowd from the slight elevation, most of it focused on themselves, chatting in hushed tones, only the front rows still paying undivided attention to the stage, Hyunwoo amongst them.  
  
Hyunwoo tugs at his tie thoughtlessly, feeling a bit hot and blaming it on the wine hitting his head too hard.  
  
He thinks he's imagining things when he notices that the singer keeps looking in his direction, at one point passionately singing a line while staring right into his eyes. Hyunwoo can't lie, he's intrigued. He leans in closer, unknowingly completely turning his back on Minhyuk without a care in the world.  
  
Another song passes and at this point he's fully drawn into the music, bathing in the singer's charming voice and looks.  
  
He feels weird and tries to snap himself back into reality, looking over at Mr Jung, the man however doesn't grace Hyunwoo with his attention for a second, his eyes closed, glass in one hand as he sways to the slow music. Well, at least Hyunwoo isn't the only one enjoying this.  
  
Minhyuk seems to use their client's moment of distraction and tugs gently at Hyunwoo's arm. The man turns around slowly as Lee scooches in closer to him.  
  
"You know, you've gotta help me out here a little, bud. The fact that this guy's stretching this out for so long is making me nervous..." he whispers and bites on his lower lip, looking up at Hyunwoo with his puppy eyes.  
  
"Don't worry." the brunette reasures him, not very convincingly. "He seems peculiar but quite  susceptible. Have patience and we'll be fine." he tries to sound confident despite it not being true.  
  
Minhyuk sighs and goes to sip on his second glass of wine as Hyunwoo gives him a dirty look. Drunk Minhyuk is even more lively than sober Minhyuk, but he's not about to scold him in front of the whole crowd.  
  
When he turns around to focus his attention on the performance, he finds the singer once again looking him up and down. Trying not to make any embarrassing motions out of surprise, he challanges the boy's gaze and drags his hand through his fringe, pushing it back a little. The singer doesn't take his eyes away from him, holding the microphone stand firmly but passionately in his hands, his left foot lightly tapping to stay in tact with the rhythm of the song.  
  
As much as Hyunwoo is enjoying this little flirtatious moment, he grows bored of waiting and feels like the songs get longer each time, despite the boy's angelic voice being there to guide them through it.  
  
When the performance comes to an end he feels both relief and a little sadness. If only he had been here casually, without any pressure on his back, maybe he would be able to appreciate this better.

  
When the singer starts walking off stage after bowing politely and receiving a vigorous round of applause, he throws Hyunwoo one more look as the man swallows roughly and tries to focus his attention on the task at hand.  
  
Mr Jung looks absolutely delighted as he quickly jumps to comment on the vocal abilities and masterful show put on by the young boy.  
  
"They have such talented artists here, it is truly a blessing! You ought to come here more often, gentlemen. I highly recommend it!"  
  
And Hyunwoo for a moment thinks that maybe he truly should.  
  
The next hour passes by excruciatingly slowly for Hyunwoo, Mr Jung being more than a little reluctant to get straight to business, asking as many questions as come to his old mind and Minhyuk patiently answering them all and using his boyish charms to assure the man of how beneficial the transaction will be.  
  
By the end of the night Hyunwoo is spent but when Mr Jung's signature lands on the piece of paper they had brought together with them, signifying a start of such a profitable for them contract, he wants to scream out of happiness and relief. So much riding on this and it's finally settled.  
  
They kindly walk their new business partner to the door and exchange firm handshakes and promises of contacting each other as soon as everything is arranged.  
  
When the elderly man is finally out of their sight, Minhyuk practically throws himself in Hyunwoo's arms and they congratulate each other, both equally relieved.  
  
Before heading home Hyunwoo feels the utmost need to have a well deserved smoke, a craving that has been eating him up since he first step foot in this place. It always does when he is stressed, as his body knows nicotine is the only way of fighting that awful feeling in his gut.  
  
He walks out into the street, immediately feeling the cold wind hit his face and he can finally say he's able to breathe properly. Taking in big puffs of smoke and filling his lungs up with the disgusting gas, his eyes lazily scan over the buildings surrounding this area. It is a very expensive one indeed, and he feels strangely out of place. The faces of rich looking strangers around him judging him for not fitting in enough.  
  
He exhales sharply as he feels a light force bump into his side.  
  
He's ready to dismiss it and make way for whoever was speeding down the sidewalk but he looks down to see a familiar face, blinking at him confused.  
  
It's the singer from the club, he quickly recalls, although now the boy is wearing torn jeans and a grey hoodie, his hair brushed down, a black fringe almost completely covering his sparkly eyes.  
  
"S-sorry." he blubbers out as he takes a step back to take a better look at Hyunwoo "I wasn't looking where I was going." he explains himself quickly, a blush rising up to his roundish cheeks.  
  
Hyunwoo smiles softly. "It's quite alright." he reassures.  
  
The boy looks at him and forms an apologetic smile as he tries to continue down his way, this time avoiding bumping into Hyunwoo's broad figure.  
  
"Wait!" Hyunwoo yells after him, not knowing what overcame him and immediately freezes a bit as the boy turns around, lips pressed close together and eyebrows raised slightly.  
  
"You're the singer from earlier, right?" Hyunwoo manages to shoot out, not really knowing where he is going with this.  
  
"Yea." the boy smiles timidly "You remembered?"  
  
"Of course. That was a great performance. You have an amazing voice, really." Hyunwoo struggles to find anything smart to say.  
  
The other man smiles at that again, this time his eyes shrink and turn into small crescents as he lowers his gaze.  
  
"Thank you." he says earnestly, not meeting Hyunwoo's eyes "If you, umm... If you'd like to hear more, I'm performing here tomorrow too. Same time." he adjusts the bag hanging off his arm as he replies shyly.  
  
"Look forward to seeing you then."  
  
The boy throws him another smile and waves his hand a little as goodbye, then turns around to hurriedly leave, looking at his phone.  
  
Gonna need a better suit, Hyunwoo thinks to himself.

 

( . . . )

 

Hyunwoo is treating Kihyun to dinner.

  
Kihyun, as it turns out the pretty singer from the expensive club is named, put on a great performance once again and Hyunwoo's praise really knows no end, but he tries to contain himself when they're sitting like this together, just the two of them.  
  
After revealing to Kihyun that he isn't one for the whole fancy act and would much rather eat at a smaller restaurant, the younger boy stated he had a feeling Hyunwoo wasn't a stuck up rich prick, at which the man chuckled, and suggested they should go for a pizza.  
  
Hyunwoo waited for the boy to change into more comfortable clothes backstage, seeing him emerge in a soft striped sweater and black jeans, and then they walked a bit to find themselves at the small pizzeria they are at now, their table having a nice view out the window and onto the street.  
  
Hyunwoo took off his tie and stuffed it into the pocket of his jacket, which hung casually on the chair, leaving him in a perfectly fitted white shirt, suit pants and fancy shoes.  
  
Kihyun jokingly commented on how he looks much more attractive like this and Hyunwoo would lie if he said his heart didn't skip a bit at the words.  
  
"Are you a full time singer then?" Hyunwoo asks the boy, desperately wanting to get to know more about him.  
  
Kihyun shakes his head. "Student." he answers shortly "Performing Arts, which is why it's much easier to land part time jobs like these. I perform here and" he pauses for a moment, still calmly staring out the window "at another, less fanciful place, I guess. Helps pay the rent."  
  
"Although I'll have you know, for such an expensive club, they don't pay their artists a lot here. So the money you spent on your table last night? Well it sure ain't going in our pockets." his tone is playful but he still sighs as he returns his gaze back to Hyunwoo.  
  
"I'll have to make sure to make it up to you myself then." Hyunwoo responds, fiddling with his drink.  
  
Kihyun's face lights up at that and he goes back to eyeing the menu before him.  
  
"What about you?" the boy turns to look at his new acquaintance.  
  
"Oh, I don't do anything interesting." he dismisses the boy's curious gaze. "Work at this small trading company. We're starting out so there's a lot of work, but at least it keeps me busy." he answers honesty.  
  
Kihyun nods.  
  
"The men you were with yesterday, they're from work too?" It seems like a normal question, given the topic but something in Kihyun's tone is different, as if he was fishing for a hidden answer.  
  
"Yes." Hyunwoo answers honestly. "I mean, the ginger guy? He's a colleague. The older man a new client we fished out to make a deal. And it worked. I dare say it was thanks to your soothing voice that he was so hypnotized by."  
  
Kihyun laughs. "Well I hope I get my cut out of this then."  
  
Hyunwoo likes his smile. It's bright and genuine and he feels like he could say silly things for hours, just so that smile never disappears from the boy's face.  
  
  
Their conversation has started going a lot more smoothly and Hyunwoo feels completely comfortable and relaxed listening to Kihyun tell him stories about work and university life with his pretty melodic voice.  
  
After they're done eating, they stumble out of the restaurant onto the streets, giggling at something Hyunwoo said. It's completely dark outside, the late hours making the city mostly deserted.  
  
He sees Kihyun tug at his long sleeves, hiding his tiny hands inside them. Hyunwoo realises it's cliche but he takes off his jacket and in a quick move throws it around Kihyun's shoulders, the boy looking up at him with wide eyes.  
  
"You're joking, right?"  
  
"Just take it." Hyunwoo says calmly and returns his gaze to the road ahead.  
  
Kihyun bites down on his lower lip but doesn't argue, putting his arms in Hyunwoo's large jacket, appreciating the strong scent of cologne that travels with it.

They aren't talking any longer, the air suddenly getting heavier and Kihyun can hear Hyunwoo's breath in between the sounds of their footsteps. He wants to say something and break the uncomfortable silence but he doesn't know what. He puts his hands in the pockets of Hyunwoo's jacket.  
  
The man looks down at Kihyun after a minute or two and speaks out, voice low and soft. Safe.  
  
"Everything alright?"  
  
Kihyun nods and looks up to send the handsome man a kind smile.  
  
"Yes. Just... trying to gather up my mind and relax." he says quietly.  
  
"Are you nervous?"  
  
And Kihyun didn't feel nervous before but suddenly he does. He chuckles softly, looking at his feet.  
  
"I guess so."  
  
They're stopped on a sidewalk, neon lights of a shop display falling gently on Hyunwoo's face and complimenting his cheekbones and jawline beautifully. His body a little too close for comfort.  
  
"Will you come to the show tomorrow?" Kihyun asks, the eyes of a child with hopeful sparks in them looking up at Hyunwoo and making his heart beat faster.  
  
"I wouldn't miss it for the world."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading.
> 
> i am soft.


	2. Chapter 2

It's become a habit. For Hyunwoo to put on a suit and tie and have a table reserved only to watch Kihyun perform. Only to hear that sweet voice carve its way into his mind and heart while Kihyun's eyes pierce through his soul, focused only on him through the entirety of it. Hyunwoo worries if it isn't too obvious but Kihyun doesn't seem to care. 'They gonna fire me for staring now?' he asks jokingly and Hyunwoo of course doesn't argue because he loves nothing more than having the boy's pretty dark eyes glued to him. 

Kihyun texts him a lot throughout the day. He's busy most of the time, either attending classes or working at the club or that other job he won't tell Hyunwoo much about but he always makes sure to text him. Sometimes send a picture of his surroundings, comment on something he'd seen or complain about someone who's pissed him off. Hyunwoo feels as if they had known each other for years. And although they act all friendly and Hyunwoo hasn't properly made his move yet, the chemistry between them is undeniable. Especially when Kihyun's on stage.

Hyunwoo would call performer-Kihyun an animal if it hadn't been for the fact that he looks so sweet and innocent in his fancy tuxedo. But it's true, something about singing in front of Hyunwoo gives the boy a boost of confidence and he's practically eating the other alive with his eyes, all while effortlessly hitting the most difficult notes.

Mr Jung didn't lie. Kihyun _was_ the most talented artist. Hyunwoo could not imagine anyone else tugging at his heart like this and so easily too.

"Yea, I'm walking back home now." Hyunwoo hears Kihyun's muffled voice through the phone speaker. 

"Walking?" he asks, tone concerned, while he relaxes himself on his couch, blanket pulled up to his stomach and a cup of tea on the table next to him. It's been a long day at work.

"It's cold and dark out!" Hyunwoo exclaims. "I'll come pick you up, just tell me where you are." he offers as he looks at the clock. It's already past midnight and he should get some sleep soon but he can't just let Kihyun walk around all on his own.

Kihyun lets out a small chuckle. "It's fine, hyung, really. I'm not far. I'll text you when I get there, alright?" 

Hyunwoo complains under his breath but Kihyun is persistent and changes the topic quickly.

"Are you doing anything tomorrow, hyung? It'd be fun to hang out." the boy's voice is sweet as always but Hyunwoo can sense the poorly hidden exhaustion behind it. 

"I'd love to see you." he says as he leans his head back on the soft cushions and closes his eyes for a moment. "I think there's a fair going on downtown over the weekend, how does that sound?" 

His friend agrees enthusiastically and they decide to meet up in the late afternoon. Hyunwoo gets a funny feeling in his stomach when he thinks about seeing Kihyun again. He has to admit the boy has been on his mind constantly these past couple of days.

He gets a text from Kihyun informing him he got home safe and wishing him a good night, and only then can Hyunwoo finally close his eyes.

 

( . . . )

Work is slower than usual. Ever since Hyunwoo woke up all he can think about are his plans for the evening. It's aggravating that he has to work on saturdays in the first place but when he's completely buried in paperwork and the time is running 10 times slower than on any other day, his frustration reaches new heights. He sighs as his third hour in the office passes and decides he's earned a break so he gets up to walk to the lounge area and get something to snack on. 

Coincidentally, none other than Lee Minhyuk barges into the building and runs right into Hyunwoo, and his colleague's smile and energetic attitude make Hyunwoo feel like an old tedious man in comparison. 

He stands right in front of Hyunwoo, making sure to focus all attention on himself and with a wide smile throws his hands up.

"I have got _news_!" Hyunwoo only raises an eyebrow at him, sipping on his coffee without interest. 

"Right, no need to get so excited." he comments but doesn't seem to be too offended as he goes right back into talking about _himself_.

"So... I don't really know how to say this but... I'm inviting you to my wedding!" Hyunwoo chokes on his coffee.

Minhyuk giggles and waits for him to regain his composure. 

"W-wedding? You're joking, yea?"

"Well, ugh... Hyungwon might've proposed to me last night and I might've said yes. And we might be getting married in like... 2 weeks."

"Are you out of your goddamn mind?" Hyunwoo asks and he absolutely means it.

Minhyuk furrows his eyebrows. "As my closest friend and workmate you should be happy for me, actually. Here I was, planning to make you my best man but now that you've hurt me so badly I might have to reconsider it." the ginger boy says nonchalantly and Hyunwoo blinks back at him.

"You guys are really serious about it, huh?"

"Yes." Minhyuk says and looks up at Hyunwoo with big sparkling eyes. "I know it's sudden but I love him. If it'll make him happy to call me his husband, I'll proudly call him mine too." he says a bit shyly and goes to sit on the counter top, wiggling his legs in the air like a child.

Hyunwoo ignores the rude behaviour unfitting of someone in a workplace and ponders on the boy's words. It's not his place to judge him or his lover's decisions of course but he knows Minhyuk often does things before he properly thinks them through. And as much as he wishes for him to be happy, he hopes this isn't one of those rash decisions. Maybe it's just the fact that they differ so much when it comes to relationships that is making him uneasy, while the other boy acts as if it was the most natural thing. Minhyuk is daring and bold, not afraid to speak his mind or do what he wants to and he often rushes into things. When he told Hyunwoo him and Hyungwon started dating, the man didn't give them more than a month before they'd break up. Surprisingly here they are, 3 years later still happy and together, while Hyunwoo chases after love like a dog after its tail. 

"So..." Minhyuk says quietly and Hyunwoo realizes he's waiting for him to speak.

The man flashes him a reassuring smile. "I'm happy for you guys. I am." he nods "I'll be there by your side while you say your cheesy vows and shit."

"Thank you thank you thank you!" Minhyuk jumps off the furniture and wraps his arms around Hyunwoo's neck. He sighs. "My mom... wasn't very happy. But fuck her right? All that matters is I got _your_ blessing."

"Don't say that about your mother." Hyunwoo scolds him, rolling his eyes.

"Right, well. In other news, you know what comes before a wedding?" 

Hyunwoo dreads the answer.

"A bachelor party!" 

"Of course." Hyunwoo chuckles as Minhyuk begins to explain to him his wild plan of spending his last night out as a 'free man' (not like he's been in a devoted relationship for years now). 

"Wait, you're bringing your future husband to your own bachelor party?" he questions.

"Well... we're both gay and if we're gonna look at half naked male dancers, the only way we're gonna do it is together!" 

Hyunwoo laughs at that and Minhyuk continues rambling. It's nice to see him this excited and relaxed, especially with how hard they've had it at work lately. He's glad he manages to find happiness and time to plan out his personal life in the midst of all the stress of adulthood. Hyunwoo wishes he could say the same for himself.

"You should bring that singer boy with you." Minhyuk blurts out as they're walking back to their respectable office spaces, Hyunwoo holding a fresh cup of coffee in his hand.

"To a strip club? I don't think so, Min." he laughs it off. Really, he can find a thousand better date destinations than that. He doesn't take Kihyun to be someone who'd enjoy such a place, so he'd rather not even tell him where he's going. Considering the fact that he may or may not be interested in the boy more than he lets on, he'd rather Kihyun didn't think he's a frequent visitor of strip clubs. He's only going because it's what Minhyuk wants but he's also hoping he can relax a bit, if not thanks to his friends, then surely thanks to the alcohol.

The rest of the day runs by slowly, the only other bright side of Hyunwoo sitting his ass at work being a few text updates from Kihyun. Lucky bastard only woke up at noon, while Hyunwoo has been on his feet since 6am. It's not healthy, he knows, considering how late he's gone to bed last night, but he ignores it lying to himself that he'll make up for the lack of sleep some other time. He never does though. 

 

( . . . )

Hyunwoo comes back home exhausted and drained, but thankful to be out of that godforsaken place. He only has 2 hours until he's supposed to meet Kihyun so he takes a quick shower and lies down on the couch to watch some tv before getting ready properly.

Next thing he knows, he's opening his eyes to loud knocking on the door, his first instinct being checking his phone for the time. 

Shit. He was supposed to meet Kihyun half an hour ago. He sees a few texts from the boy pop up on the screen as well. 'am ready! waiting for u x', 'running late? how unfitting of a business man', 'no seriously can u at least let me know ur alive', 'if you stood me up i swear to god i'll knock your teeth out'. 

He can't be bothered to read the rest as the loud noise coming from the front door repeats and Hyunwoo realises he's supposed to open it.

He rubs his eyes as he opens the door to an annoyed angry child looking up at him with what he can only assume is an attempt at pouting, the boy's arms crossed in front of his chest as one of his feet taps on the ground excessively. He's wearing black jeans with holes in them, a white t-shirt with some sort of colourful sign on it and a black leather jacket. Hyunwoo's eyes also make a stop at the boy's neck, which is wrapped tightly with a thin black choker, a little silver ring hanging loosely in the middle of it. Hyunwoo swallows probably way too visibly and before his guest has a chance to open his mouth, the man blurts out a small "You look really good."

Kihyun immediately closes his mouth without even spitting out what he wanted to say. He dismisses the compliment with a little shake of his head and Hyunwoo thinks he can see a blush rising up to the boy's cheeks.

"You stood me up." is all the younger says, going back to acting like he's mad and Hyunwoo honestly thinks it's adorable.

"God, Ki, I'm really sorry. I must've fallen asleep on the couch." he rubs his forehead and looks at the boy apologetically. "Come in, I'll get dressed and we can be out in a second, alright?" he opens the door wider, hoping Kihyun catches on and accepts his apologetic smile. 

The boy scoffs a little as he walks in. 

"I walked here all this way so I guess I can't just leave anyway." he keeps up his hurt puppy act but Hyunwoo can see a soft smile creeping up somewhere on that pretty face.

Hyunwoo rushes into his bedroom and tries to find something equally nice to wear but all he can find that isn't dirty or crumbled up to bits are a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt. He picks up a cap to match it and decides to grab a jacket on his way out. It'll have to do. He rushes into the bathroom to quickly wash his face and teeth before greeting Kihyun once again, the boy walking around his living room and scanning it with his eyes. Luckily Hyunwoo doesn't spend enough time in here for it to be messy. 

"Impressive movie collection you've got here." he says as he brushes his fingertips against a row of cds that Hyunwoo has lined up on a shelf. "Some of these have great soundtracks." 

Of course Kihyun would notice something like that and Hyunwoo feels stupid for never paying much attention to it.

"We can watch some any time you like. Your pick." he offers as his hands search through the second wardrobe in which he hides his outerwear. Kihyun hums in return and Hyunwoo is too busy to take a good look at his face. He finally picks out a jacket, blue sportish one and asks if Kihyun's ready to head out, once again apoligising for making him wait.

"I'll make it up to you." he promises and Kihyun, complaining under his breath, finally agrees to leave. Hyunwoo drives them both to their destination while he lets Kihyun mingle with the radio and pick out a station that's to his liking. Even though it's dark Hyunwoo tries to take a look at the boy every now and then, only to appreciate how his eyes drive off to the horizon, gaze focused and mouth shut tight, as he leans his hand on the window frame. He wonders what he's thinking about but figures it might be unfitting to ask.

The fair is actually a bigger event than Hyunwoo had expected, they even have a pretty decent ferris wheel and the man notices how Kihyun's eyes sparkle at the sight of it.

"Wanna take a ride on that?" he asks looking over at the short boy standing next to him and watches as he slowly loses his act and finally shows some signs of excitement over hanging out with Hyunwoo.

"Sure, looks fun." Kihyun replies with a smile "Never actually been on one before."

They slowly make their way through the loud alleys, filled with people, yelling and laughter mixed in with music from various game and food stands. Hyunwoo can feel his stomach rumble and proposes they pick up some greasy food from one of them. They settle on some questionably looking hot dogs but Kihyun doesn't seem to mind and munches at his anyway. He tells a lively story about something that happened at university earlier this week and Hyunwoo finds himself unimaginably happy just to be able to hear the boy's voice again. He returns the favour and tells Kihyun about Minhyuk's news from this morning.

"Ah, that's so cool." Kihyun looks touched "I hope I can meet them both one day, they seem so nice. From what you've told me, of course." he adds, looking down at his food. 

Hyunwoo isn't sure if 'nice' is the word he would've used to describe the couple but he lets it slip as another idea comes into his head. He could probably take Kihyun to the wedding with him if Minhyuk agreed, and he's sure he would but he is not sure if that's what Kihyun would want. He doesn't want to give the boy the wrong idea. He leaves the offer up for consideration in his head and decides not to pursue it for now.

A couple of minutes later they're back to casually strolling through the city grounds, and the atmosphere has finally become right, with Kihyun losing himself in fits of laughter at something Hyunwoo has said, the other man's eyes turning into thin crescents as he giggles along, appreciating the way Kihyun shuts his eyes and throws his head back when he laughs. The only reason he's making a fool out of himself in the first place, is to see that smile form on Kihyun's face after all.

They stop by a shooting game stand and Kihyun's eyes turn big as he tugs on Hyunwoo's heavy arm and points towards it.

"I bet you won't be able to win at this." he challenges but it looks more like he just desperately wants to watch Hyunwoo play it.

"You can pick a reward already." Hyunwoo says cockily as he approaches the stand and hands the man operating it a couple of bucks for 3 rounds of shots. His mission - hitting the target in the middle, as it moves back and forth. _Easy_ , he thinks, _right?_

He calls the first shot a practise one, as he completely misses the target, barely settling for the edge of the board.

Kihyun thumps his leg nervously. 

"Come on!" he urges "I want that plushie!"

And Hyunwoo thinks his cuteness is deadly, especially in the way he acts like a baby when trying to be all serious. 

The older man chuckles and worries his lower lip in between his teeth as he squints one of his eyes and recentres the weird pink gun he's holding, aiming more clearly this time. 

"Oh!!! That was so close!" Kihyun comments excitedly from the audience. 

Last shot, the pressure is on. Hyunwoo thinks he's got it, focusing on his target as if his life depended on it. And he does indeed, taking the man working at the stand by surprise as well while Kihyun cheerfully celebrates their victory. 

The worker reluctantly lets Hyunwoo pick his well deserved award and the man refers to Kihyun to pick one of his liking. The boy points to a chubby looking bear plushie with a heart shaped patch on its tummy and a pink ribbon under its chin. Kihyun immediately grabs the plushie into his arms and nuzzles it stating that it's soft and urging for Hyunwoo to cuddle it too.

They make their way towards the ferris wheel, completely absorbed in their own world, Kihyun holding the plushie Hyunwoo had bravely aquired for him under his arm, smiles not leaving either of their faces.

The line to the wheel is really long but time passes quickly when Hyunwoo is around Kihyun, way too quickly for his liking. It's like he can never get enough. Kihyun is so much more cheerful and happy today and it makes Hyunwoo's heart beat a little faster seeing how much the boy is enjoying himself. 

When their wagon arrives they both take seats on the opposite of each other and Kihyun impatiently waits for the ride to take off. When it does it's a little shaky and awfully slow but Hyunwoo guesses that's how most ferris wheels are. 

The problem begins when the wheel stops for a moment, most likely to let someone else get on, but it does so abruptly their wagon screeches as it starts wobbling in the air.

Kihyun's eyes shoot wide and he looks out of the cart carefully to see if everything below them is alright. Hyunwoo finds his reaction unimaginably funny and he decides to tease him a bit when he leans his back on the metal half-wall behind his back and supporting himself with his arms puts his entire weight into making the wagon shake.

Kihyun looks completely bewildered when he notices what Hyunwoo is up to.

"STOP IT. YOU'LL KILL US BOTH."

Hyunwoo shamelessly breaks out in a fit of laughter and through his teary eyes he can see Kihyun getting completely red with anger and embarrassment. 

The cart starts moving again and Kihyun is once more caught off guard and startled by it. 

Hyunwoo sniffs his nose as he dramatically wipes away tears from his eyes. 

"It's not funny..." the boy says quietly, pouting as he brings his legs close to his chest and looks out in the direction of the half-lit city around them. 

Hyunwoo softens up seeing the look on his face and after a moment of staring scooches over closer to the side and taps at the free space next to him.

"Come over." he says softly and watches Kihyun hesitate.

A small smile and another reassuring "come on" finally convince the boy and he sits next to Hyunwoo, the older man instinctively wrapping an arm around him. 

"I think I'm afraid of heights." Kihyun admits quietly and Hyunwoo's heart breaks a little at how innocent he sounds. He realises how close they are to each other, Kihyun slowly snuggling into his side and he thinks of how cliche this whole situation is but it still somehow makes his mood change completely. 

He rubs circles on Kihyun's tiny shoulder with his thumb. "It's fine, I'm here." 

"That doesn't help!" Kihyun protests. "If anything, it makes the cart heavier." Hyunwoo should be offended but the boy rambles on "I mean, do we even know if this is safe? Has anyone checked this?" 

"I'm sure someone has. And if not, well..." Hyunwoo smiles playfully "I guess this is our fate." he sighs dramatically. 

"You're an asshole." Kihyun elbows him and tries to escape his grip but their ride isn't very spacy so he still remains close to Hyunwoo's side.

The man takes a look around their surroundings, appreciating how the chilly breeze gently brushes past his cheeks. The city is completely dark apart from some neon lights in the far distance, some tall buildings still awake and shining brightly, and a line of street lights showing the way for the occasional car or two to pass through. 

"We're at the top." he notices.

"Don't tell me that." Kihyun whines pitifully.

Hyunwoo tugs at his arm and brings him closer again, hand going up to the boy's head to gently pet his hair. 

"Kihyunnie, relax." 

And Kihyun thinks perhaps he really should because the way he is acting and exposing his insecurities for Hyunwoo to see is very unlike him. But Hyunwoo's arms are just so warm and inviting, how can he stop himself from tugging in closer?

The older boy's hands play with Kihyun's hair mindlessly as the younger closes his eyes and tries to ignore the fact that they're now making their way back down, slowly falling while the cart sways back and forth. 

Kihyun lifts his head up hesitantly and calls Hyunwoo's name, cursing himself for it soon after. Hyunwoo hums in response and looks down at him, his cheeks pink from the cold of the night.

 _Kiss me_ , Kihyun wants to say when his eyes catch a glimpse of Hyunwoo's plump shapely lips but he's too afraid.

"Are we down yet?" he asks stupidly instead, knowing damn well they aren't.

"Halfway there." Hyunwoo slides his hand down to put it on the back of his neck. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah." Kihyun chuckles, a bit embarrassed at his hyung's concern. "I'm sorry, I didn't know this would be so... nerve-wracking."

"It's okay." Hyunwoo says, not looking him in the eyes but somewhere below them. "I think it's quite cute." he admits a little more quietly and Kihyun feels his heart speed up, as if it knew what is about to happen.

Hyunwoo can't stop himself and doesn't even think before he leans down closer to Kihyun's face, too hypnotised by the boy's pretty dark eyes for his mind to function properly.

Kihyun's heart beats out if his chest and he's sure Hyunwoo is able to hear it and so is everyone else waiting below them. He knows it's childlish, it's not like he hasn't kissed so many people in his life but something about Hyunwoo is just so special, he feels like a teenager again.

Kihyun's lips are small and soft, breath shaky against his own when Hyunwoo pulls back for a second to check the boy's reaction. He doesn't open his eyes, just brings a hand up to Hyunwoo's cheek and pushes on it slightly to get his lips back on his own. Hyunwoo accepts it and kisses him gently, as delicate as he can be cause that's how Kihyun makes him want to behave. He wants to cherish him and always make sure he's comfortable. He just values the boy so much.

Kihyun's mouth is needy. He tests the waters and lets his tongue peek out, sliding shyly against Hyunwoo's upper lip. The man seems to get the hint as he repeats the motion himself, licking Kihyun's pink lips and gently moving on to the inside of his mouth, his teeth, only to finally deepen the kiss for a couple of seconds. 

Kihyun tastes a bit like the hot dogs they had before but Hyunwoo doesn't mind because it's still sweet, just like the boy himself. And his mouth feels like it fits perfectly with his own and his skin is soft and it's just all _so good_.

It doesn't last long but it's passionate and just perfect for a first kiss and Kihyun's stomach is all in shambles as they pull away from each other, Hyunwoo's hand rubbing Kihyun's softly, the younger boy not lifting his gaze up just yet.

They don't talk as they slowly get off the ferris wheel, Kihyun's fear suddenly pushed back and completely faded away, all thanks to Hyunwoo.

They don't talk but Hyunwoo grabs his hand and intertwines their fingers gently and Kihyun sighs with relief at the familiar touch. They make their way back towards the car and Kihyun holds the plushie's paw with his left hand, while Hyunwoo's hand with the other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the fluffiest fluff i have ever written and i might just vomit. 
> 
> BEWARE! angst in the upcoming chapters, so much angst probably so enjoy this while you can.
> 
> ah i had so much fun writing this one though i can't stop grinning at my own damn fic.
> 
> yes kihyun is a little shit most of the time but he is also just so adorable UGH.  
> my mission is now making yoo kihyun happy.  
> ALSO PROTECT THESE (ADULT) KIDS
> 
> let me know what you think ♡ cant wait to write more of this


	3. Chapter 3

"Yah, what about this one?" Minhyuk points at a colourful page in the magazine laid out on the table in front of them. One of the many  _many_ magazines and brochures there.

"Pretty cool." Hyungwon comments looking bored out of his mind and completely uninterested but Hyunwoo has come to learn that this is what he looks like most of the time, around other people anyway. Minhyuk says he's completely different when it's just the two of them and even smiles constantly around him but Hyunwoo has a hard time believing that. However, despite the kid being the grumpy thing he is, he's still a nice person who Hyunwoo grew to like and value a lot over the years. 

"Hyunwoo?" the ginger boy looks over at him, surely awaiting an answer.

"Uhh..." Hyunwoo has no idea. The suit looks just like the last five Minhyuk showed him. Seriously, they're  _all_  the same. And Hyunwoo has grown a fan of wearing suits over the last few weeks, thanks to a certain someone, but he still would rather do anything in the world than sit here and help Minhyuk choose one that he's probably gonna get ripped down from him right after the wedding ends, or so Hyungwon says, and Hyunwoo shivers at the disgusting image presented.

"Yeah, it's nice. Anything would look good on you." Hyunwoo shoots him a small smile.

"Hey, that's my line." Hyungwon wakes up from playing with his phone absentmindedly and shuffles in closer to his fiancé. "Show me." he commands and Minhyuk lifts up the magazine with a wide smile to place it right in front of his face. Hyunwoo watches the tall boy skip through pages with moderate interest, finally stopping at one and pointing his long finger at it.

"This one." he says and his plump lips form into a smirk.

"No, no way." Minhyuk protests.

"I think it's perfect. You look good in pink." 

"Are you insane? It's so revealing! My mom would have a heart attack if she saw me in something  _this_  gay." Minhyuk whines and eyes the photo with disgust.

"She's coming?" Hyungwon seems genuinely surprised and Hyunwoo furrows his eyebrows at the news too.

"I think so." Minhyuk chews on his lip "I don't know. She probably just wants to be there for the 'if anyone has any objections speak now' part so she can yell out some shit and make a dramatic exit but hey. That won't stop us, right?" Minhyuk fakes a little smile and looks up at his lover with warm eyes.

"So rebellious, Min." Hyungwon softens up "It'll be okay." he cooes and gently rubs his thumb at Minhyuk's cheek and Hyunwoo feels like he shouldn't be here witnessing this private moment but the two seem too distracted to even be bothered by his presence.

"Well, if you don't wanna wear it to our wedding, let's at least buy it for me to play with in bed." the younger boy comments and Minhyuk's face shoots up with a grin as he reaches out to hold Hyungwon's waist.

"Jesus Christ, get a room you two." Hyunwoo feels like they're gonna jump at each other any second now and he decides to step in before it's too late.

If Hyungwon's eyes could kill, Hyunwoo would be lying dead over all these wedding themed papers, in a matter of seconds.

Minhyuk just giggles wholeheartedly and turns the magazine over in Hyunwoo's direction. "Best Man!" he yells out "You help me! Choose one you'd like to see your singer boy in."

Hyunwoo almost says something after he catches Minhyuk's suggestive wink but he knows the boy's not gonna let him live anyway, so he just sighs and silently eyes the pages of the magazine. 

"Do you guys wanna go with something classic or more... original?" he looks over at Hyungwon and the man challenges his gaze playfully.

"Something shocking is what I'd choose." he replies, probably not even joking.

Minhyuk doesn't comment on it and answers Hyunwoo's question himself instead "Something classic but nice! I'm thinking maybe a white one? White symbolizes purity after all." Minhyuk says smiling and Hyunwoo chokes while laughing. Minhyuk is so very far from pure.

 

Even with Hyunwoo's sincere advice the boy doesn't seem convinced enough to choose anything and after another 20 minutes of looking over the same pictures, he sighs dramatically. Hyunwoo proposes they take a break and Hyungwon is more than happy to oblige. 

Hyunwoo promised Minhyuk — as was expected from him as a best man  _and_  best friend of groom #1 — that he would do his best to help with the wedding preparations. He truly didn't know what he was signing up for, as Minhyuk is a complete indecisive mess, who has no general concept for his wedding other than he wants it to be _magical._ Meanwhile Hyungwon just doesn't seem to care all that much. So it is up to Hyunwoo to plan everything out: help them reserve a venue, take care of the food and music, help organise the guest list and apparently, help them choose their damn clothing too. _Children_ , Hyunwoo thinks to himself, he's raising a couple of children who want to play pretend at marriage. 

But he didn't really complain all that much, if anything he only did so to tease Minhyuk. In reality he actually quite enjoyed getting his head off of other things and concentrating on taking care of his best friend's most important night in his life.

In high school he was told he has the quiet leader type of personality. He is responsible and can be trusted with the most difficult tasks but he never boasts about it, is never too bossy or self assured. He just tries to do his best for others, this time too. And even though he wouldn't admit it out loud, when he thinks about how happy this will make Minhyuk and about seeing him on his wedding day, all dressed up and in love, Hyunwoo almost tears up. He really hopes he won't cry when the day finally comes, it would be quite embarrassing and the future married couple would never stop bullying him over it.

 

The rest of the evening goes by quite slowly, Minhyuk rambling on excitedly about the wedding that he does not have in any way planned out, only throwing out ridiculous ideas and wishes. They look over the details and Hyunwoo tries to get a general idea of what their dream ceremony should look like but it's hard to decide on anything. They order some pizza and eat it eagerly, all hungry and tired. At one point they have to calm Minhyuk down as the boy has a small breakdown over nothing working out and this whole thing being a mistake, but Hyungwon holds him close and kisses him gently to get him through it, more patient than Hyunwoo could've ever imagined. 

Minhyuk's eyes light up again when Hyunwoo calls him over to the computer to show him a venue that caught his eyes. It was an outdoor place, a big arbour-like structure, painted white and draped with a see-through grayish material, full of paper lanterns that light up the whole place when it gets dark. Thanks to his persuasion skills (and his low slightly raspy voice that the woman on the phone seemed to like a lot) Hyunwoo manages to book the venue for a beautiful Saturday night exactly two weeks from now on. Minhyuk seems to be completely in love with it, throwing himself in Hyunwoo's arms and exclaiming that it's just _perfect_ , that sweet cheerful smile finally gracing his face again.

 

Hyunwoo comes home exhausted.

He sends Kihyun a goodnight text without getting a reply back, before he finally lets the well-deserved sleep overtake him.

 

( . . . )

The next day is busy, with Hyunwoo waking up late in the afternoon since he hasn't set up his alarm the previous night and his body decided to betray him by sleeping in. He looks through buffet options and different catering companies for Minhyuk's wedding before settling on making his final decision the next day, when he's less busy. He then works on the project they're expected to finish by the end of the week for a few hours. It's stressful with how much he has on his head, which is evident by the number of cigarettes he has been consuming on the daily lately. He tells himself he's not addicted and it's only to fight off stress but in truth it's become just more of a habit than anything. How much can a man take before he finally breaks, though?

Kihyun hasn't called or texted him at all today and he starts to worry a bit, hoping it's only because the boy is equally as busy as him. He knows he still has school to deal with, his final year of university in fact, and Hyunwoo understands the amount of work that comes with that all too well. But it doesn't stop him from missing the singer, scolding himself for being so clingy on the inside. On the bright side however, he's going to see him this evening. And he really can't wait. 

 

( . . . )

The familiar scent of mixed expensive perfume and the slight note of wine in the air hits his nostrils as he walks into the club, the place far more crowded than usual, as it always is on Sundays. But he doesn't have to worry about getting a seat as he has one reserved, as always, the table right in front of the stage, a perfect place to watch his favourite artist perform. 

He sits comfortably in the leathered couch and lets himself order a glass of wine to help pass the time a little more pleasantly. The club is still very loud, people not bothering to talk in hushed tones in between themselves, not even to be mannerly. The time seems to pass slowly and Hyunwoo is getting incredibly impatient. He still hasn't heard from Kihyun today and he feels like he's going to explode if he doesn't see the boy's pretty face soon.

He looks at his phone exactly the moment the clock strikes 8pm and he looks up to see the pianist start to play a sweet melody, perfectly on time, as always. Hyunwoo tries to relax, waiting for the singer to make his way on stage but when he does, Hyunwoo is more troubled than relieved.

The boy who stands in front of the microphone doesn't have black hair, nor is his tuxedo fitted so perfectly to his slim body. He's tall and has a long face and his name is definitely not Yoo Kihyun. 

Hyunwoo starts to wonder if he hadn't messed up. Is today really Sunday? Is the time right? Why isn't Kihyun here?

He feels stupid and isn't at all interested in the performance before him. He eyes the venue carefully, standing up to aproach one of the workers who stands nearby. 

"Excuse me, has the performance schedule changed? What hour will Yoo Kihyun perform?" the waiter seems confused at first but the name does seem to jog her memory after a second.

"Ah, I'm very sorry, Sir. Something's come up and the artist had to cancel today's performance." she gives a little troubled smile "We sincerely apologise for the inconvenience." 

Hyunwoo feels something inside his stomach stir as he panics a bit. This is very unlike Kihyun, to cancel something last second, to not text Hyunwoo even once throughout the day and the man is worried sick, making up various scenarios of all the horrible things that could have happened to him. The waiter asks him if there's anything she can do for him but he dismisses her without a second thought and almost forgets to settle his bill before storming out of the club. 

He steps outside and lights a cigarette instinctively. He tries ringing Kihyun but the boy is not picking up and as much as his rational mind is telling him it's none of his business and he should wait for Kihyun to contact him, his heart is aching at the thought something could have happened to the boy. He calls a taxi and gives the driver Kihyun's address which he had written down, despite never being there before.

 

The building he arrives before is old and ruined, the word _dirty_ appearing in Hyunwoo's mind first thing after seeing it. He knew Kihyun was quite short on cash but he never really thought about what kind of apartment he lives in. The boy was always so well taken care of, dressed nicely, so well mannered and lively. This just didn't fit him but Hyunwoo decided not to think too much on it, not wanting to seem too posh and like he's judging anyone.

 

He knocks on the door with a heavy heart, two little metal numbers that form a "22" dangling loosely on it. His heart feels like it's going to beat out of his chest when the door shuffles and opens but it isn't Kihyun standing behind it, instead some other boy, dressed in sweatpants and a white shirt with puffy cheeks and pretty straight eyebrows. He chews loudly on something as he eyes Hyunwoo up and down.

"Yea?" he expects Hyunwoo to say something but the man is confused and wonders if he's in front of the right door. He figures it doesn't hurt to ask, though.

"Does Kihyun live here?" he tries to get a look behind the boy before him without seeming too rude or intrusive.

The stranger's eyebrows furrow and he places his hand back on the door handle, ready to close it at any given moment. Hyunwoo feels uneasy.

"And who the fuck are you?" he seems angry, and he looks over Hyunwoo's clothes thoroughly as if searching for something. "You one of them? Didn't he tell you to fuck off? Can't take a hint?" the boy's fist clenches and despite his soft appearance he looks absolutely furious and ready to beat Hyunwoo's ass any second.

Hyunwoo has no idea who he's talking about and who he assumes he might be but he tries his best to clear it up before the situation gets messy.

He clears his throat. "I'm Hyunwoo. Kihyun's friend, I... I just wanted to check up on him. He isn't answering his phone... I was worried." Hyunwoo's face drops when he realises how worried he _actually is_ for the boy.

The kid's expression softens a bit but he still glares at Hyunwoo dangerously. 

"Well, he's doing great." the boy keeps chewing on whatever is in his mouth ignorantly "Sleeping right now so you can go back to where you came from and he'll call you when he wakes up." he tries to close the door but a voice that Hyunwoo knows far too well calls out before he can do it.

"It's fine, Joo."

 

Hyunwoo feels so relieved, as if a huge weight was lifted off his heart but only for a second, before Kihyun actually appears in front of him. 

He doesn't look good, his clothes are all crumbled up as if he had been tossing around in his bed all day, his hair slightly greasy and rough but worst of all, a purplish bruise just in the corner of his right eye, his cheek completely red and scratched up.

Hyunwoo's lungs suddenly forget how to properly filter out air and he holds in his breath as he stares at Kihyun's beaten up face. 

"Right, I'll go." the boy Kihyun called Joo states and grabs at Kihyun's shoulder lightly, lowering his tone "If you need me, just call out, yea?"

"There won't be a need." Kihyun says quietly, not daring to meet Hyunwoo's gaze. 

The older man just stands there with a painful look on his face, not knowing what to say.

"Ki..." he begins, voice sounding almost broken and he quickly tries to regain his composure when he realises that. "What happened?"

Kihyun takes a deep breath, clearly uncomfortable with the current situation. "I'm sorry for not contacting you. But you shouldn't have come." he looks over to somewhere in the distance, which is still not anywhere close to Hyunwoo's concern-filled eyes. "I would've called you when I had time."

"Who did this to you?" Hyunwoo asks, completely ignoring his words and suddenly getting angry at the thought of anyone hurting Kihyun.

Kihyun closes his eyes for a second and bites down on his lower lip, the tips of his ears turning red as they always do when he gets irritated. 

"Fucking hell, fine." it's weird to hear Kihyun curse so ardently "Just some guys at uni," Kihyun answers reluctantly "who apparently have some problems with my person. It's no big deal though, they won't trouble me further." 

"I don't believe you."

"You what?" Kihyun lets out a bitter laugh. He shakes his head, dismissing anything Hyunwoo says to him. "I'm sorry if you were expecting a performance today, they wouldn't let me go out on stage like this." he scoffs a bit "I'll probably be back on Tuesday though, so if you still wanna come, feel free to."

"Kihyun..." the man feels helpless and hopes Kihyun can sense the honesty in his voice. He can see Kihyun slowly dropping the act, suddenly getting quiet again. "Can I come in?"

 

Kihyun's room is small and incredibly messy, clothes spilling out of his tiny wardrobe onto the floor and hanging off the wooden chair next to it. An old laptop lies on the foot of his bed, sheets ruffled and Kihyun picks it up to place it on the ground and push the sheets back so he can make some space for Hyunwoo to sit down. The elder takes off his jacket and tugs at his tie nervously, feeling as if it is cutting out his only source of air.

The boy is quiet. He looks shy and broken and Hyunwoo wants nothing more than to hold him tightly in his arms, as close as he can.

"Please, tell me the truth." Hyunwoo presses gently, being afraid to overstep his boundaries but also just wanting Kihyun to confide in him.

"I told you." he looks in Hyunwoo's eyes for the first time since the man arrived here and his gaze is sad. "It doesn't matter anyway. They just wanted to show me what they're capable of I guess." he chews on his lower lip further and Hyunwoo sighs.

"Are you sure?" he wants to believe him so badly.

"Yes, Hyunwoo." Kihyun straightens his back and sits up properly, tilting his head to look at Hyunwoo and the man melts at the way his eyes are staring at him.

"They're bullies. I don't fuck with bullies. I've just had a shitty day because of it, that's all. But I'll be fine." he forces a little smile just to reassure his hyung because he feels so incredibly bad now for making him worry.

"I'm sorry, Ki." he really is and he wishes they were closer to each other, he wishes he could go to uni with him, protect him from anyone who dared hurt him, be in his life at all times — until he realises those thoughts aren't healthy because they've known each other for barely a month and Kihyun is in no way _his_.

Kihyun's eyes light up a little bit, that sweet spark relighting gently and he smiles at Hyunwoo again, this time more genuinely.

"Just hug me."

 

Kihyun is so tiny. So small in his arms but he fits there perfectly, wrapped around him like a kitten, waiting to be petted. So he does that, gently, cause no one can refuse those sweet eyes when they look up at you so innocently. He runs his hands through Kihyun's hair and in no way does it bother him he probably hasn't washed it in a while. His body is warm too, like a little heater against his chest and Hyunwoo rubs his palm down the boy's back in soothing circles. It's perfect in every way, the way they just lie there on his bed completely motionless but somewhere deep down his stomach, the uneasiness still remains. So he just listens to Kihyun's rhythmic breathing to calm him down and tries to focus on the way his chest rises and falls against him, how pretty he looks with his eyes closed, the way his neck moves when he swallows, how his eyelashes rest on his cheeks so gently, despite one of them being in a condition that makes Hyunwoo's stomach stir with anger and worry.

It's all too perfect to be real and he makes a foolish wish for this moment to never end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof... this... is something. that i wrote. i guess.  
> this series is my favourite one i have ever fucking written and damn i really hope i dont fuck it up. i have it all planned out you see, and im so excited to share the rest.
> 
> please let me know your thoughts!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ATTENTION! yes. there is smut in this chapter. i finally gave in, so this is just a headsup. enjoy! (?)

Hyunwoo doesn't know when either of them fell asleep.

All he knows is Kihyun feels _just so warm_ against his chest, Hyunwoo's hand somehow in a troubling position wrapped around the boy from behind, his palm right under his side so that he's lying on it. What's also worrying and making Hyunwoo's head spin is the fact Kihyun's shirt is pulled up and his skin is way too soft and perfect and Hyunwoo feels a kick in the stomach just thinking about it. 

He sighs. 

The window in Kihyun's room is small and not very sturdy looking but the light coming from it still lets Hyunwoo know that morning has made its way onto today. And he almost jumps when he realises that it's most likely Monday now and he has work today. 

Very slowly and watching Kihyun's every move he tries to lift the boy's back so that his hand can be let free. He succeeds and gently places the precious thing back onto the sheets so that he can get more sleep. Hyunwoo's hands instinctively go to grab at the edges of Kihyun's shirt and pull it down gently so that the boy is more or less covered by it. 

Hyunwoo rubs at his eyes lazily. The fact that he's wearing a now completely crumbled white shirt and suit pants and that's what he slept in isn't very comforting and he would kill to just take a shower and get a change of clothes. He sits on the edge of the small mattress and looks around the room for a pen and some paper so he doesn't just leave the boy without a word. 

"Where are you going?"

 _Shit_. Kihyun's voice is sleepy and raspy and the boy clears his throat as he turns around to look at Hyunwoo.

The man just smiles at him.

"I got work today." 

Kihyun lets out a small "oh" as if realising that he does indeed.

"Don't you have school?" Hyunwoo asks in return.

"Just some classes in the afternoon." he chews on his cheek mindlessly, still looking only half-awake.

Hyunwoo nods. "Right. You should get some more sleep then." he brings his hand to pet the boy's head gently. Kihyun closes his eyes but just for a second only to open them again and stare at Hyunwoo with an unreadable expression.

He looks just adorable like this. Pretty, so pretty, despite being beaten up and barely awoken. And Hyunwoo wants to kiss him so badly he feels his stomach stir.

"I gotta go." he whispers still not knowing exactly what hour it is. He brings his hand down to brush a thumb against Kihyun's cheek one more time but the boy's hand stops him before he can pull away and get up, fingers digging into his wrist.

He thinks he'll say something but he doesn't so Hyunwoo just keeps rubbing his cheek and jaw gently, appreciating the delicacy of it. 

Kihyun squeezes his eyes shut after a moment, and with a sigh lets his hand fall back down onto the bed.

"Right, go."

"I'll text you later, alright?" Kihyun nods and Hyunwoo sends him a warm smile. He really doesn't want to leave either. Never. 

 

He's startled by the presence of another person in the kitchen as he passes through to the door but he quickly remembers that Kihyun does in fact have a roommate.

The boy looks up at him and Hyunwoo shoots an awkward "Good morning."

"I'd offer you breakfast but we only have old crusty bread." he says not really looking at his guest.

"It's alright, thank you." Hyunwoo feels awkward and like he should explain himself, that it's not what it looks like that he didn't do anything to Kihyun, but he doesn't know where to start.

"Suit yourself." 

He shyly makes his way to the front door and struggles to tie his shoes. His hand is almost at the doorknob but something tells him to turn around.

"Hey... Joo?" he calls out hesitantly.

"It's Jooheon for you." the boy answers, uninterested.

"Jooheon." Hyunwoo nods firmly, correcting himself. "Please look out for him." 

Jooheon looks up at him a bit confused but then his expression just turns sad.

"Always do." he says under his nose and Hyunwoo decides it's his time to leave.

 

( . . . )

Hyunwoo knows he's overworking himself. He knows inbetween his job, Minhyuk's wedding and his personal life, he's taking on too much even for his strong broad shoulders to carry. It is evident in how he's stepping on thin ice with their newest client because he forgot, or simply didn't have time to, finish a promised project and the man is yelling at him angrily through the phone. Hyunwoo doesn't break easily, he's usually calm and organised and can hold in his frustration and take it out in another way later on. But everyone has their limits and right now he just wants to drop it all and spend the rest of his life taking naps on his comfortable couch. 

'what are you doing after work? can i come over? we could watch a movie like u promised ;)' 

Hyunwoo sighs at the messages before him, wanting to agree immediately, the idea of seeing Kihyun much more promising than having to work late at home. But he also knows he can't just ignore his responsibilities forever.

'I have a lot of work, Ki. I'm not sure when I'll finish' he types out the reply and hits send, a wave of guilt and regret washing over him when he imagines Kihyun getting sad at the rejection. 

'but I can come pick you up when I'm done? if it's not too late?' he sends a second one, trying to convince his mind it's fine to take some time off and he can do half the work tomorrow morning if he quickens up his pace at the office. 

He gets a string of texts as a reply. 'ill just come over and wait until youre done!! i really wanna watch something... we don't have a tv at home and i'm bored :('

The sad face tops it all off and Hyunwoo thinks only a monster could say no to that.

 

( . . . )

Kihyun is casually settled down on Hyunwoo's couch as the man sits on the far end of it, typing furiously at his laptop.

The younger boy pays him no mind and doesn't seem bothered by his torturing of the keyboard as his eyes are glued to the screen in front of them. Some superhero movie Hyunwoo had already seen in the cinema but bought the cd anyway because apparently he's a fan of Marvel and he thought he would find time to rewatch it. Well here he is, having the perfect opportunity to do that — and with the most pleasant company too — but instead wasting it by writing out some boring financial plan for god knows what. Do people actually have time to read this? Money is a social construct anyway... So why does it have to control his life entirely?

Hyunwoo sighs and lets himself look over at Kihyun, the boy completely engulfed in the movie he's passionately watching. It's his first time seeing it, he admitted after choosing this particular one, and Hyunwoo is partly glad he's not watching with him because he probably wouldn't be able to stop his mouth from spitting out spoilers. 

He grabs at the popcorn he had prepared earlier and placed on the coffee table, bringing it closer to Kihyun only to finally wiggle it in front of his face so the boy gets the hint. He jumps a little as he takes his eyes off the screen but quickly flashes his hyung a smile and mutters a small "thank you" before grabbing a handful of the snack and shoving it all in his mouth hurriedly, not to miss out on a single line from the film. Hyunwoo thinks it's adorable. 

Minutes pass and he finally thinks he's getting the hang of writing out that damn plan but he feels something next to him shift and a sweet presence shuffle its way to his side.

"How's it going?" Kihyun asks playfully while looking over his shoulder. 

"Slowly." Hyunwoo chuckles and rubs his forehead. 

"This seems boring." his guest states "Wouldn't you rather... I don't know, watch a cool action movie instead?" 

"Don't tease." Hyunwoo grins "I have to finish this. And you promised to behave until I did so."

Kihyun's eyebrows jump up at that answer and he licks his lips. "Did I?"

Hyunwoo turns his head towards the boy to answer but the latter quickly goes back to his previous position, popcorn in hand, and immediately focuses on the tv once more.

Frustration starts building up in Hyunwoo and he thinks to himself that he should really hurry up and finish this damned raport. He hates this job, he admits that to himself. He hates it and he hates the younger Hyunwoo who decided it was a good idea to enter the company. He would gladly knock some sense into that kid if he could.

He only has one more table to finish, sum up all the income and possible future changes before he can say he's done for the night. 

He almost screams out as the laptop closes shut in front of him, eyes wide with shock as he looks for the owner of the hand that had just wronged him so badly.

The culprit is kneeling down next to him on the couch, and looking down with an innocent expression.

"KIHYUN" Hyunwoo lets out a desperate cry. "I don't even know if that document saved... Oh my god, Ki, I can't write this all over again." He can't, he's gonna cry like a little baby if he has to.

Kihyun just smiles as if he had done nothing wrong and Hyunwoo is just being dramatic, which he is — but with good reason.

"It saved, don't worry."

He can't possibly know that and Hyunwoo _has to_ check for himself but before he makes a move towards that, Kihyun's treacherous hands lift up the laptop and place it on the table in front of them. Hyunwoo protests and quickly tries to bring himself up to get the thing back but Kihyun's leg wrapping over his lap stops him from moving completely.

The boy kneels down over Hyunwoo so confidently and when he brings his small gentle hand to lift the man's chin up and look him in the eyes, Hyunwoo's heart stops beating completely as his body goes into a state of panic and trance. 

"You've worked enough." Kihyun announces "And I'm getting bored and impatient." 

He's acting like a needy kid and Hyunwoo wants to tell him off for it but maybe some part of him enjoys it too much.

"I thought you were watching a movie." Hyunwoo challenges his gaze, trying his best not to break and give in.

"I've already seen it." Kihyun shrugs and notices the way Hyunwoo's brows shoot up as if asking 'what?' and he giggles softly. "Yeah, I've already seen it. Just thought maybe it's something you'd like to watch with me but clearly..." he slows down and shoots Hyunwoo a knowing look "... _some things_ are more important." 

Kihyun pouts and Hyunwoo thinks that's too much of a low blow.

"Ki..." he begins softly, trying to justify himself but Kihyun is persistent and won't give up easily.

"No. You have to pay attention to _me_ now."

A wild idea comes into Hyunwoo's head at that sentence, one he should probably push back and repress but the man is far past thinking logically whenever Kihyun comes this close to him.

"Okay." he says firmly, with a confident smile. "Only paying attention to you."

 

Kihyun looks surprised at how easily he's won but he can't say he's not proud of himself. But what does he do now? He just wanted to tease a bit.

He feels Hyunwoo's hand place itself against his back and bites down on his bottom lip at the touch. 

Hyunwoo seems amused. "Hmm? Not so brave anymore?" 

 _Fuck you_. Is what Kihyun's eyes are saying as he furrows his eyebrows and his mouth parts to spit back something over Hyunwoo's remark but he's unable to.

The older man tugs at his neck to bring him down and places his lips against his, not really waiting for a response and Kihyun falls completely onto his lap. 

It feels different than the first time, as if Hyunwoo was more confident in it, less delicate but still passionate and when his tongue brushes against Kihyun's the boy wants to moan in content but figures it'd be too inappropriate.

Hyunwoo's hands venture below Kihyun's shirt and he shivers at the sensation, letting himself grind down on Hyunwoo's lap unintentionally, but the feeling he gets from it sends a shiver down his spine. Hyunwoo presses his hands more firmly against him and Kihyun lets himself be pulled in closer, wrapping his own arms around the man's neck. 

It feels safe, being so close to him, and the pool of desire in his stomach starts to boil.

 

Hyunwoo panics as he feels Kihyun start moving in his lap, slow, as if testing the grounds but so sensual and daring at the same time. It's not that Hyunwoo doesn't want it just as bad, he just doesn't want to rush it. Make Kihyun think he's using him. But fuck, he started it all, he should at least take responsibility for it. 

He puts his hands on Kihyun's ass, pulling him down closer, and the boy's body stiffens but they don't break away from the kiss even for a second.

Kihyun drags his hands through his hyung's hair passionately and Hyunwoo loves every second of it, his mind getting hazy despite him trying his best to remain calm and rational. But Kihyun's body has an aura that just makes a man lose his mind. 

The boy moves his hips up and Hyunwoo's body shivers when he feels their dicks brush against each other, desperately wanting Kihyun to do it again but also knowing he should stop him before it gets too far.

The younger pulls away from the kiss and moves his head back to look at Hyunwoo, his eyes playful and full of lust. He looks like he's begging for something, so innocent despite knowing full well he's driving Hyunwoo crazy. 

He pushes their chests closer together and tilts his neck, exposing it perfectly for the older man to put his mouth on and no matter how much he wants to, he can't resist. 

Kihyun lets out a hiss and a small chuckle right after when he feels Hyunwoo bite onto his skin harshly only to lick at the spot when he's done. Kihyun's skin is soft and delicate, just like the rest of him, and Hyunwoo isn't sure whether he wants to wrap him in a blanket and protect him or ruin him completely until he's crying out his hyung's name. Thinking about the latter makes him turned on more than he should be and he tries to pull away and put some distance between the two of them.

 

Kihyun, impatient, lets out a small whine at Hyunwoo's mouth no longer pressing against him and he looks back at the man, pouting slightly. 

"Ki..." the older man sighs and Kihyun thinks about how much he likes it when he calls him that.

"Are you sure?" his eyes are worried, running frantically all over the boy's face as if searching for any sign of hesitation. 

Kihyun knows what he means and it's pissing him off, the fact that Hyunwoo thinks he doesn't know what he's asking for. But knowing that he's making sure he has his full consent makes Kihyun feel warmer inside and if he had any doubts about it before, he knows now he'd trust Hyunwoo with anything and he knows there isn't a place safer than in Hyunwoo's arms. 

Kihyun leans down to kiss him once more, for just a few short seconds, simple and reassuring.

"I'm sure." he says calmly, brushing his thumb over the side of Hyunwoo's face "Are you?"

And the older only nods in response, eyes not looking away from Kihyun's small lips for even a second. 

Kihyun doesn't know how it happens because time suddenly decides to speed up, leaving his mind blurry as he grinds down on Hyunwoo's lap without a care in the world. He lets out small moans, not even stopping himself, the breath on his neck hot and heavy and the hands petting his back so strong and comforting. _Fuck_ , it feels good and he doesn't feel like he can stop at this point despite wanting so much more. Wanting to rid Hyunwoo of all those restraining clothes, even though he looks so hot in this hoodie and the gray sweatpants outlining his erection perfectly.

He's feeling so dirty for wanting Hyunwoo to fuck him like he means it, until Kihyun's tiny body gives out and he knows who he belongs to.

Those thoughts fill his mind and only fuel his frustration as he pushes his crotch down harder, almost painfully so into Hyunwoo's, resting his forehead on the man's shoulder and arching his back. 

Hyunwoo lets out a deep grunt and whispers a small curse right into Kihyun's ear and it sends the boy's stomach into a frenzy. 

" _Hyunwoo_ " he whines as he tries to keep his steady rhythm but wanting to cry and melt in his hyung's strong, caring arms. 

Hyunwoo brings his hand up to Kihyun's neck and caresses it, placing small kisses that are so loud and breathy against Kihyun's ear. 

"Good boy." Hyunwoo cooes and Kihyun instinctively wraps his arms around the man's neck, hair sticking down to his forehead, face burning from how red he is, as he tries to hide it and not look Hyunwoo in the eyes. 

"Keep going baby, feels so good." Hyunwoo comforts despite Kihyun feeling the opposite. His cock is painfully straining against his jeans and the material of his boxers and he wishes for nothing but for this to end, for the heat in his stomach to finally reach its peak so he can ride through his orgasm in Hyunwoo's arms. 

But if Hyunwoo says it's good, there's no way he'll stop.

Kihyun isn't a virgin nor an amateur, far from it, and he isn't usually this submissive with his partners unless they clearly state they want that. But something about Hyunwoo —maybe the way he treats Kihyun like he's the most precious thing in the world, maybe how he always makes sure he's okay and just _cares_ so much, maybe that's what makes Kihyun become jelly under Hyunwoo's strong grip, maybe that's what's making him feel so helpless in this moment.

So he just grinds against Hyunwoo, more messily each time, looking for enough friction to make it feel good, his eyes watering from the frustration as well as the pleasure. 

Hyunwoo probably sees how much he's struggling as he guides his hips with his hands, soothing the boy with his voice and plump lips against his skin. They aren't even out of their clothes, making them all hot and sweaty against each other and it's so dirty and unhygienic, Kihyun wouldn't admit it out loud but he loves it. 

"Do you want me to help, baby?" Hyunwoo's voice is deeper than usual and it beats Kihyun completely off track. It takes Hyunwoo's hand sliding down to palm at his leaking cock to understand what the man is asking.

"No." he states firmly, against his actual needs but he badly wants to keep what's left of his pride. If Hyunwoo wants it like this, that's how they'll continue it.

It doesn't take long for them both to be panting heavily against each other and Kihyun feels like he's going crazy with how much he needs to cum, crying softly in Hyunwoo's arms as he mumbles out something that was supposed to be the words "I'm so close".

Hyunwoo lifts his hand up to tug at Kihyun's cheek, forcing him to look him in the eyes.

"You're so pretty." Hyunwoo says and Kihyun throws his head back trying to contain the blush on his face and moan that wants to slip out of his mouth at the compliment.

He chuckles softly and all he can bring himself to say is "Shut up.", not really meaning it. He wonders how Hyunwoo can say something like that, when he's covered with sweat, face more red than a tomato and a huge bruise still evident on his face despite him trying to cover it up with a shit ton of makeup. He wonders if Hyunwoo is saying this just to drive him closer to the edge, or if it's a habit, or if he's actually insane enough to find _this_ beautiful. 

But it still tugs at Kihyun's heart and he whines softly, pushing their mouths roughly together, if only to make Hyunwoo close his eyes so he doesn't have to feel the man's hungry gaze on himself. 

 

Their teeth clink against each other and Hyunwoo is moving his own hips desperately up and down to try and keep up with Kihyun, almost sliding off the couch completely. 

He feels the pressure down in his stomach starting to get too much and he knows he's close. He tries not to think about what they're doing right now, how dirty it is and how awkward it'll be once they're all done and spent. But Kihyun is so eager, so small and desperate in his arms, ready to do just about anything to get some friction.

Kihyun cums first, his back arching beautifully, eyes shut close as he moans just so prettily, Hyunwoo thinks he likes it even more than hearing his angel sing on stage. The boy lifts his hips up as his jeans slowly fill with warmth and wetness but Hyunwoo's hands force him back down, as he himself is not quite done yet. 

Kihyun falls in his arms, almost lifeless except he hisses harshly and through gritted teeth as Hyunwoo keeps rubbing against his aching dick.

Hyunwoo tries to force his brain to note and memorize the way Kihyun sounds when he cums, how prettily his brows furrow as he struggles to keep his voice down, how hard his tiny hands can grab at Hyunwoo's shoulders and how cutely his legs shake. That image alone is enough to bring him sweet relief as well, grateful for his own moment of bliss.

Hyunwoo comes back from his high a bit quicker after he bites down on his tongue when his irrational mind tells him to moan out Kihyun's name when he cums. The boy still breathing heavily in his lap, hugging him closely as if he truly didn't want to leave his arms and face the rather boring after-sex reality. 

Hyunwoo decides to pamper his back and every part of his body he had access to with gentle rubs and kisses, his mind not really knowing what to do in this situation.

"Baby?" he calls out, wanting to bring the boy back to earth and hear his voice again. 

"Fuck." a response he didn't really expect from Kihyun at this moment flies out "Sorry, this was just..." he sighs as he pulls himself away from Hyunwoo a bit, head tilted down "... something." 

Hyunwoo smiles and hums "Mmm... It surely was. Think you missed the ending of the movie." he jokes when he looks at the tv screen being back to black. 

"Bad guy dies, whatever." Kihyun responds as he tries to lift himself up from Hyunwoo's lap and the latter can't help but laugh. 

 

Hyunwoo brings Kihyun some towels and a change of clothes from his personal wardrobe after he easily convinces the boy to take a shower, him being all too eager to lock himself away in the bathroom and bring himself back to looking moderately presentable and not like a sweaty post-sex mess. 

Deep down Hyunwoo wanted to ask to join him but he figured he needs to give the boy some personal space and he'll just wait his turn.

He only prays Kihyun doesn't have any regrets about this. It wasn't exactly how he wanted their first sexual encounter to go (not that he fantasized about it of course, he's not a creep after all) but it was still good. Extremely fucking hot, to Hyunwoo's mind.

It was a start, he hopes. 

 

Hyunwoo's t-shirt is clearly too big for Kihyun's much smaller build but it isn't big enough to cover the boy's arms, previously covered by his own long-sleeved black shirt.

Hyunwoo's eyebrows furrow in anger and confusion as Kihyun leaves the bathroom.

"Who did this to you?" he jumps up to meet the boy immediately, taking his palms in his hands and pulling his arms up to expose the dark grayish bruises that covered them both. 

Kihyun's mouth is shut tight and he looks tired, as if he wanted nothing more than for Hyunwoo to stop questioning him. 

"Was it those same guys?" Hyunwoo feels his chest heat up with anger. 

"Yes." Kihyun replies reluctantly, yanking his hands back. "I already told you."

He looks annoyed. 

"I didn't know it was this bad..." Hyunwoo lowers his gaze, his anger quickly replaced with pity and the feeling of helplessness. 

"It's nothing. God, will you stop worrying about me so much?" Kihyun spits back furiously but sadness is painted across his face "I can take care of myself."

Hyunwoo didn't mean to hurt him and he wishes he could keep his mouth shut and mind his business. He wishes he didn't care so much. 

"I'm sorry, Kihyun. I know you can. I didn't mean to intrude." he sighs and takes one more look at the boy before he retreats, wanting to slap himself for ruining the whole evening like this. 

 

Hyunwoo gladly takes off his sticky clothes and throws them in the laundy bin. He lets the mildly cold water wash away all his sins and calm him down before he gets dressed again and walks out to meet Kihyun. To his relief the boy is still there, settled on his damned couch, not watching anything but playing with his phone. 

Hyunwoo stands in the doorway for a while before walking over to his kitchen counters. 

"Are you hungry? I can make something to eat." 

"Sure." Kihyun mutters in response, putting his phone down reluctantly. 

The man goes to look through his fridge, remembering that he barely has anything fresh in it as his diet contains mostly takeout and premade meals. He's not that great of a cook either and he starts considering ordering something online instead. 

"Hyunwoo?" a sweet voice makes him abandon his thoughts and turn around. 

Kihyun is still sitting on the couch, this time bent over the top a bit to see Hyunwoo better.

"Thank you for worrying about me." he says shyly but with a lot less anger on his face "I'm just not used to it."

He looks down at his arms. 

"These will fade away soon." he smiles softly.

Hyunwoo walks over to hug him, no longer caring if it's appropriate at the moment. It's just something he wants to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ughhhh here it is... the awkward questionable first time sexual... something?? had to happen sooner or later and now was definitely a good time. 
> 
> i know i keep saying this but the next chapters are a ride, buckle up.
> 
> thank you for reading and i promise to contain the sin to a minimum next time. pure fluff and purer angst on the way!!


	5. Chapter 5

Minhyuk almost made Hyunwoo go deaf by screaming through the phone when he found out he's going to meet Hyunwoo's famous singer boy in person. The older boy was reluctant, incredibly worried about whether his friends would be capable of behaving properly. But there was no going back as he gave his word to Kihyun that he would indeed introduce them. 

Hyunwoo had scheduled a meeting with the owner of the venue he had rented before, intending to go over the details with the staff and make sure everything's taken care of. He somehow got Minhyuk and Hyungwon to finally decide on the number of guests in attendance and give him a final list and he thanked god that they managed to complete that task. 

He woke up before Kihyun again, this time succeeding at not waking the boy up as he washed up and escaped to his living room. He had completely forgotten about the work he was supposed to finish the previous evening and with a heavy heart he opened his laptop to see that Kihyun was right after all, and the document he needed to turn in by today was still in its previous state.

Kihyun seemed grumpy to see him absorbed by work once again, as he stumbled out of the bedroom looking all cute in Hyunwoo's huge t-shirt. He rubbed at his eyes sleepily and made his way towards the fridge and Hyunwoo was startled by how strange this situation was. This boy he has barely known for a few weeks making his way around Hyunwoo's apartment as if he had lived there for years, so domestic and strangely comforting. Just like how they decided to share a bed together once again, Kihyun falling asleep cuddled up by his side as Hyunwoo softly traced his thumb over the boy's roundish cheek. 

Then he asked Hyunwoo for his plans for the day and somehow the man ended up agreeing to bring him along to look at the venue. He thought it was crazy how he's incapable of denying Kihyun anything.

 

They arrive at their destination later on in the afternoon and Hyunwoo notes how big the parking lot is and how the drive here was quite easy, which are both plus sides when it comes to organising the wedding. He appreciates the green scenery around him as they approach the arbour — a nice change from the city's busy landscape. Hyunwoo thinks it's hard to believe this place is only a a 40 minute long drive away from where he lives, when it feels like some other beautiful peaceful world.

Hyungwon is busy talking to who Hyunwoo assumes is the manager, when Minhyuk spots them and waves enthusiastically in their direction, the biggest smile evident on his face. He runs over to meet them, abandoning his fiancé completely. 

"Hii!" Minhyuk exclaims, darting his eyes to Kihyun. 

Hyunwoo's 'singer boy' smiles back at him, much to Hyunwoo's relief, the sun shining brightly on his pale skin and making him glow slightly in the light. Hyunwoo has little time to admire the view before he realises that his two friends are already chatting casually and Kihyun does not seem too taken aback by Minhyuk's explosive energetic personality. 

"Can't believe he waited so long to introduce you to me!" Minhyuk says, shooting Hyunwoo a disapproving gaze and Kihyun giggles softly. 

"Maybe I just didn't want to share." Hyunwoo responds automatically with a playful tone.

Hyungwon frees himself from what looks like a rather boring talk to walk over and meet them. He tugs at Minhyuk's arm starting to complain about how the boy is leaving all the formalities on his head and urging him to go back and help him out. Hyunwoo clears his throat to gain his attention and Hyungwon only then seems to notice his and Kihyun's presence and introduces himself properly.

Hyunwoo almost wants to say something about how _he_ is the one burdened with all the actual wedding formalities but he stops himself, for Kihyun's sake.

 

They settle on the decorations and the placing of chairs and tables with the manager's help, although getting the soon to be married couple to agree on something is a hard task. Hyunwoo wonders how they'll even survive the rest of their lives with each other. 

Hyunwoo tries to be mindful of the guest he brought along and constantly checks if the boy is doing alright but he too seems to have been sucked into the world of wedding planning, as he eagerly asks Minhyuk and Hyungwon for their vision and tries to help them out with the decisions. Hyunwoo decides to back away a bit and just enjoy the show before him and it's crazy to him how easily Kihyun seems to blend in with his quite peculiar friends. It feels right, somehow. Makes his heart feel all warm. 

"I want us to sit in the middle." Minhyuk waves his hands in circles gesturing at the floor before them "That's how it's supposed to be, right?" he doesn't wait for an answer. 

"I'm gonna be on the left, Won on the right." Minhyuk keeps ordering around "I want Hyunwoo-hyung to sit next to me, then Kihyunie next to him and two chairs on Hyungwon's side as well, for his parents." 

Hyunwoo freezes. 

Kihyun seems a bit surprised too and before Hyunwoo can say anything to save the situation, the boy interrupts Minhyuk with a small questioning "Me?"

"Of course! I want you both close to us." Minhyuk smiles kindly but goes silent for a moment before addressing Kihyun again "You _are_ coming, right?"

Kihyun hesistates for a moment, not looking over at Hyunwoo.

"I, uh... I didn't know I was." he lets out a small laugh and Hyunwoo feels like an idiot. He forgot. He simply fucking forgot to ask him. He wanted to, of course but things just happened so quickly. _Dumb excuses_ , he thinks to himself. 

Minhyuk looks at him with a firm expression and mouths a disappointed "Seriously?". 

"I'm sorry, Kihyun-ssi. My best friend is an idiot." Minhyuk says not taking his judging gaze away from Hyunwoo and Hyungwon guffaws in the back. "You absolutely are coming, we have just decided that."

Hyunwoo licks his lips and comes closer to Kihyun, placing his palm gently against the boy's side. 

"Right." he lets out a sigh "Let me fix this, yeah? Excuse us." he says awkwardly as he guides him and Kihyun away from the couple and Kihyun giggles softly when Hyunwoo turns to face him.

"Is there something you wanted to ask me?" his eyes are glistening with amusement and Hyunwoo can't help but smile at his own stupidity too. 

"I wanted to ask you before Ki, I really did. Even when we were eating those damn hotdogs at the fair." he tries to justify himself "I just forgot." he inhales and tries to fix his posture.

"Yoo Kihyun-" 

"Alright, I'll come with you! Just please, none of this official shit." Kihyun laughs and Hyunwoo feels much better just seeing that smile he loves so much "It will be fun. Your friends are so nice, you know?"

They sure are. 

 

( . . . )

"This is probably the most shady-looking place you have ever brought me to." Hyunwoo chews on some gum as he eyes his surroundings.

The building itself is old and grey, ruined like most of the structures in this part of town, but the neon lights decorating the entrance and the walls painted dark red around it definitely stand out. The owners make sure to send a message. 

Hyunwoo thinks they look like a group of teenagers. So loud and excited. Minhyuk and Hyungwon brought along some of their mutual friends, anyone gay enough to even step foot in this place, but Hyunwoo is still the oldest one from their bunch. Just by a few short years, yet he can't help but feel like a grandpa.

He's been thinking about the fact that Minhyuk is getting married already, something he never thought would happen, while Hyunwoo hasn't ever even had a proper healthy relationship that lasted more than 5 months. If anyone asked them in middle school which one of them will get married first, Minhyuk would be the one to spit on the idea of marriage, saying he'll never let himself settle down. Meanwhile Hyunwoo would lay down his idealized plan of getting a stable job, which he now has, falling in love and starting a family by the time he's 30. Well, time is really running out. 

Hyungwon pats Hyunwoo's back and says they need to get some alcohol in him as soon as possible, so he can finally relax. And maybe Hyunwoo agrees.

The club is way too busy for a place catering to gay men, and one located in such a desolate part of town. Hyunwoo takes a look around and notices that it's mostly filled by older men, fat and balding, gathering around the dancers and the younger boys who just happened to be there for some fun. Hyunwoo shivers at the thought that this could be him one day, and he promises himself that no matter how lonely and horny he gets in the future, he won't stoop down to these creeps' level. 

They make their way to a lounge the couple had rented for tonight and Hyunwoo eyes the stage behind them for a few quick seconds. 

There is several metal poles sticking out of the ground on one side, two skinny looking boys nimbly wrapping their bodies around them in some sort of sensual dance. Hyunwoo looks away when he realises how young they must be and he feels dirty for even being here. The other part of the stage looks a bit more extreme, with stuff like a cage and some weird decorations hung around them. He notices a well built guy doing a strip dance and he can't help but compare his own muscles to his. Minhyuk whistles when his eyes land on the same sight and Hyunwoo can't help but laugh a bit embarrassingly. 

"Who's going with me to see the hunk up close?" Minhyuk exclaims over the loud music, linking his and Hyungwon's arms and signalizing they're ready to go. 

"I think I need some drinks first." Hyunwoo answers with a forced smile and Hyungwon mouths something that sounds like 'your loss', and then they're gone. 

He's gonna have to watch these kids more closely, tonight of all nights.

 

The bartender smiles at Hyunwoo cutely as the man orders a couple of shots for warm-up, and Hyunwoo is thankful that at least this guy, out of everyone working here, is wearing a shirt. 

He downs some of the alcohol that is supposed to be his saviour for the night as he feels someone place their hand on his shoulder and he's half ready to turn around and see Minhyuk's shiny amused eyes, come to bring him over back to where the fun is at.

Instead his own eyes land on a boy with light brown hair, pretty straight eyebrows and a small sweet smile, who tilts his head as he asks Hyunwoo something. 

Hyunwoo makes a confused expression in return, leaning over closer and letting the stranger know he can't hear him properly.

"I'm asking why a fine man like you is sitting at the bar all alone." the boy laughs and the black choker wrapped around his pale neck catches Hyunwoo's eyes. As well as his purple silken shirt that Hyunwoo only now realises is the same one most of the staff at this place is wearing. Hyunwoo only then realises the actual meaning of this situation and he shakes his head timidly as he fakes a little kind smile.

"I'm sorry, I'm not interested." he tries to go back to his drink and ignore the fact that his head is now starting to spin, and the stranger still has a delicate hand placed firmly on his arm.

"I didn't even offer anything yet." the boy chuckles, sitting down on the stool next to Hyunwoo and waving at the bartender, who serves him something without a word and not demanding payment. 

"My name's Changkyun." he continues "You really look like you could use some company."

Hyunwoo shifts in his chair uncomfortably. "I'm good. Just taking a break."

"A break from what?" Changkyun intrudes further.

Hyunwoo has never been one to outright be mean to people and it's always what dooms him and puts him in awkward situations. The fact that he cannot bring himself to be firm with someone, because he feels too guilty for hurting people's feelings. He knows he should care about his own more, but it's easier said than done.

He sighs and swallows the last of his drink, praying silently that it washes away whatever remains of his sober mind.

"A break from my friends." he replies shortly.

"Oh? They're that tiring?" 

"A bit." 

Changkyun leans down closer on the counter, and Hyunwoo wonders if he's imagining the hungry look in the boy's eyes.

"Let me make your break a little nicer then." He sounds so sweet when he says that and Hyunwoo knows his biggest weakness is innocent looking boys with not so innocent minds asking him for things they know he can't deny them. It's what Kihyun does too, perhaps unknowingly, but it drives Hyunwoo crazy nevertheless.

 _Kihyun_. He's the reason Hyunwoo didn't want to come here in the first place. He isn't interested in looking at cute boys strip before him when his mind is only set on one, the one he wants to be spending this and every night with. When he's sober and busy working he usually manages to push these thoughts away, but right now the alcohol is starting to hit him and it's hard to focus on anything else. He was stupid to think this evening would help him relax, if anything, it's making him feel guilty and he's scared he'll give into the many temptations that await him here. He doesn't want to.

"You still haven't told me your name." 

Hyunwoo pulls away to put some distance between them. "I'm really sorry, Changkyun. You seem like a nice kid but this isn't what I came here for." 

The boy's face drops a bit and he seems a little hurt. Hyunwoo curses in his head, knowing this is exactly what he was trying to avoid.

"My shift starts in 10 minutes." he says out of nowhere, looking down at his now empty glass. "I didn't come here looking for a client, just a handsome face to talk to. I'm sorry if I seemed too pushy." He looks up at Hyunwoo and smiles after a moment, regaining his friendly attitude, but Hyunwoo can sense a shy aura around the boy. 

He can't help but wonder what the kid is even doing working here. He seems young, like he has a bright future in front of him, school, and parties to be at, instead of a dirty strip club. Maybe it's silly to judge people after knowing them for barely 5 minutes but Hyunwoo doesn't feel like Changkyun particularly loves his job.

Hyunwoo opens his mouth to say something but Changkyun doesn't seem to notice and cuts the conversation short. 

"I'll be up on stage in a moment. Come and watch?" he smiles softly "I will try my best to help you take your mind off things."

And with that he's stepping away from the bar, leaving only the scent of cheap perfume behind him. 

 

Hyunwoo rubs at his face lazily. He orders another drink, even though his conscience is telling him he's already had enough. He wonders if he even knows what it means to be relaxed anymore. All he does is work. For the last 3 years, he has not even went on a proper vacation. The only time he's felt relaxed lately, was whenever he spent time with Kihyun. But it's not healthy to depend on other people for your personal well being, is it? Especially when you're hung up on them while they most likely don't return your feelings. Thinking about that makes Hyunwoo feel just pathetic. 

He looks at the clock and it's almost midnight. He decides to head back to their table and the cheerful atmosphere draws him in without him having time to protest. Minhyuk worries that he's not having a good time and Hyunwoo quickly dismisses his concerns, realising he's being absolutely selfish. This is his best friend's bachelor party. He should get his shit together.

They drink as if they truly were teenagers again, completely oblivious to everything around them and the life outside this club. Hyunwoo thinks it's good to laugh like crazy again, surrounded by people you care about, and doing stupid things with those people doesn't feel as inappropriate as it should. 

"Okay, okay, this is _not_ what we came here for." Hyungwon shouts out as they finish another round of drinks and Hyunwoo feels blissfully high but also like he's going to vomit if he only opens his mouth.

"He's right..." Minhyuk says clinging onto his fiancé's arm, barely able to keep his head up. "We came here to see some _ass_." He exclaims and everyone breaks out in laughter.

 

The club is darker than Hyunwoo had remembered it being before sitting down at the table. The lights surrounding the stage are way too bright, almost blinding, too, and Hyunwoo can't help a yawn escaping his mouth as he follows his friends closer towards the stage. He's been trying to keep himself from looking too much at the seducing dancers and waiters working at this place, telling himself he doesn't need to. But now that his mind is a hazy mess, it says it won't do him any harm to admire some sexy men for mere moments. He's supposed to be wild. Relax. 

He remembers the boy from the bar and makes it his mission to seek him out on stage, which now with the late hours, has a few more dancers on it. Most are gathered around adoring groups of men below the stage, who are shouting out dirty things as they watch them expose their bodies. Hyunwoo doesn't find it too attractive. It's cheap and forced, he knows. Perhaps it's just that he doesn't find strangers inherently sexy on first sight, or perhaps it's just that he  _doesn't know how to have fun_ , as Hyungwon says.

He spots a lock of light brown hair and an exposed torso covered by pale, almost porcelain-like skin and he focuses his gaze on the boy, tugging at Minhyuk's arm harshly, to make their companions follow. 

Minhyuk is confused at first but soon catches on that it's Hyunwoo changing their course and he comments "Cute!" as he sees the boy they're making their way towards to. 

Hyunwoo stops in his tracks as the couple rushes in front of him, towards the leather couches close to the stage. Hyunwoo stops in his tracks and he feels like he's frozen.

For a moment he thinks he's blacking out, or he already has, that he's dreaming because he can't quite process the sight in front of him. Doesn't find it realistic or in any way possible.

He blinks a few times but it doesn't go away. 

There, in front of him on the stage, is a boy that looks too much like someone he knows. Too much for it to be possible, for there is no way this person could be here at this time.

Hyunwoo catches the boy's eyes for a moment.

Just a tiny fracture of time when the dancer looks over the people surrounding him, just a split second in which he recognizes panic in them. 

And then the black haired boy isn't dancing anymore and Hyunwoo's mind is too troubled to admire anything about him, the small delicate frame everyone around seems to have their gaze on, his now barely visibly bruised up arms, the collar wrapped around his soft neck or his perfect make-up that makes his cheekbones shine a pretty pink colour. 

And then they just look at each other and Hyunwoo is too drunk and unstable on his feet, but he somehow turns around and heads for the exit, his body moving without any sign of communication from his brain. 

He needs air. Desperately needs to breathe and for the cold to bring him back to reality, the reality in which his previous short encounter had no rights to happen. 

It is cold outside, especially compared to the stuffiness of the club and it is so much more quiet, it feels almost unreal and Hyunwoo is sure he's drunk out of his mind because he has a hard time holding back his urge to vomit. It is cold outside and it helps so much, as he leans his back against the wall of the building. 

"Hyung...?" 

Kihyun's voice is sweet. It always is and Hyunwoo's brain never stops pointing it out. Never stops reminding him how much he loves the sound of it. 

But this time it's fragile and broken and shy and Hyunwoo feels like he might cry, but he doesn't know why. 

Kihyun is still in the same stage outfit he was wearing a second ago, the same all the strippers wore on stage, except after a period of time he's lost certain elements of it, that now lie somewhere on the stage for others to trip on. He must be cold, Hyunwoo thinks, as he sees the boy tug at the coat he has loosely wrapped around his arms, one he looks like he wants to hide in.

Hyunwoo wants to walk over to him but his feet don't oblige and he only makes a strange clumsy turn to face him.

"Please." Kihyun begins, legs shaking as much as his voice "Let me explain."

Explain? Oh, right. That Kihyun is a stripper. Is that what he is? Hyunwoo regrets all the drinks now, because he clearly cannot understand it in this state. Kihyun's voice is a barely audible buzz too.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, Hyunwoo. You were never meant to find out like this." 

"I really did want to tell you. I just... didn't know what you'd think of me." Kihyun starts to sob.

" _I don't want you to think I'm a whore_."

Hyunwoo has lost his ability to speak and it's so hard to get it back, but the sound of Kihyun's cries and the way his cheeks are starting to glisten, this time from the tears and not the glitter, is enough for his legs to respond again.

He walks over to the boy slowly.

"It's okay, Ki, it's fine. You're not a whore, please stop it."

He thinks that what Kihyun needs right now are words of comfort but he's proven wrong once again when the boy only whines in reponse. 

"I am. You _don't understand_."

He doesn't.

"Kihyun... It's just a job. I get it. It's... Dancing. Like a form of art too." he realises how clumsy his words sound, something he hates in himself so much, his inability to properly voice his thoughts in situations that require it the most.

Kihyun is having a full breakdown right in front of him and he feels absolutely helpless in this maddeningly quickly developing situation. 

"It's not, it's not, it's not." he sniffs back, visibly trying to gather himself up, embarrassed, cold and so lonely and exposed out here, despite Hyunwoo standing mere centimetres away.

"Hyunwoo..." Kihyun says so sweetly, as if the name on his tongue was the last thing he can hold onto. "I'm a prostitute."

"Was." he corrects himself quickly, in total panic "I _was_. I want to quit this Hyunwoo, I do, you have to believe me. I didn't want to lie to you." He's rambling, as if he had too many things to say but the tears streaming down his face were stopping him from voicing them properly.

Hyunwoo has so many things he wants to say too. So many questions he wants to ask but the only thought that suddenly hits his mind and stays there, is that he does not know Kihyun.

He's looking at this boy, this hurt child that seems to be hiding so much within him, and he is nothing like the version of Kihyun he had created in his head. Maybe Hyunwoo was a fool to assume Kihyun's life was good in some way. To think it was easy. Now he's starting to see that it isn't and he looks completely broken and helpless. Hyunwoo realises he is probably Kihyun's escape. A different reality the boy had sought out that Hyunwoo now came and destroyed, forcing the pretty singer to expose the truth.

Then he thinks about what Kihyun's words mean. Him being a prostitute. And the image is too much, and when he thought he was starting to understand, he now knows he's just more confused than he previously was. 

But before he gets to ask, before he gets to say anything and break the prolonged silence, a silhouette comes up behind Kihyun and calls his name.

The cloud of light brown hair tugs at Kihyun's arm and calls him back inside.

"Don't waste your time on this one, he told me he's not interested. Probably straight or something." Changkyun smirks, completely unaware of the situation and as if he could not see the redness in Kihyun's teared up eyes. "Come on, Kihyun, boss really needs you back inside."

Kihyun's eyes don't detach themselves from Hyunwoo's frame until he's gone behind the door, and they're sad and lost and hurt and Hyunwoo feels guilty and responsible for the state they are in. 

He's left outside the club, the area around him so silent all of a sudden, and he doesn't understand why he's there or what anything really means.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know nothing about strip clubs as you can clearly tell, i aint ever even been to a normal gay club cause im too much of a pussy to go to one,,,, perks of being closeted! but yes, let's just pretend that in this universe, this is how gay strip clubs look okay thank you
> 
> also oooooo!!! cliffhanger. yea, sorry about that
> 
> AND OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY FOR TAKING SUCH A LONG TIME TO UPDATE ive been so busy with exams and life yknow... but i hope i can go back to writing more often now <3


	6. Chapter 6

The phone is right there in front of him, lying heavy on the messed up sheets with the moonlight shining down on it, making the black screen reflect it brightly. It taunts Kihyun, when he blinks and his heavy eyes catch the glow he thinks the screen is actually on, that it shows a text, a call, anything. But it doesn't and he wants to whine each time he gets fooled by it. 

He knows he should pick it up and call, do anything, but it's like his hands are tied together and he has no will of his own. Or perhaps just no guts. Yes, he definitely has no guts. No guts to stop crying, no guts to call him — just like he had no guts to ever tell him the truth. The rational part of his mind, the one he shut off the moment he laid his eyes on the handsome businessman he spotted in the crowd, the one which has been silently screaming at him every time Hyunwoo made his way into his mind — that he's a liar, a pretender, that Hyunwoo will find out the truth eventually, that he's a _fool_  —that voice in his head is now repeating a triumphant "I told you so" over and over and it's driving Kihyun crazy. He would do just about anything to shut it up and the ideas that appear in his brain are starting to get scary. 

And the silence of his phone is mocking him. He considers throwing it against the wall with an angry scream, like they do in the movies, but he knows he has no money to get a new one, and he'll probably need that damned thing in the future. 

His head feels heavy against the pillow. The clock shows the late hour in red electronic numbers — 3:49am but it doesn't feel like it. He feels tired, beyond exhausted, yet there is no way his body could force itself into slumber. He wants to wake Jooheon up, so badly, if only to cry on his soft warm shoulder, but he has no right to. His problems aren't Jooheon's, and he worries the boy enough as it is. 

Kihyun's bed is so uncomfortable, the old mattress offering hard and uneven surface to sleep on. It's nothing like Hyunwoo's bed, that felt like heaven in comparison. He almost found it magical how light the sheets felt over him, how small he appeared in it, wrapped in soft materials and a softer pair of arms. His heart aches at the thought.

It was too good, the whole night, despite their rocky evening. Hyunwoo is so gentle it drives Kihyun crazy. The aura that surrounds him is something Kihyun wants to bathe in forever, the small hesitant touches Hyunwoo placed on his skin, his eyes asking for permission or searching for any sign of hesitation, as if Kihyun wouldn't let him do just about anything he wanted to his body. It's impossible not to feel safe in Hyunwoo's arms, not when his eyes, small and dark, look at him as if he was truly precious. Hyunwoo is too good. And Kihyun tried to chase that thought away by bringing himself closer. Wrapping his arm around Hyunwoo's neck, feeling his short hair perking against his fingertips, as he made their noses brush and it was so simple and pure. The way Hyunwoo's breath landed heavy against Kihyun's upperlip, how he got flustered at the closeness and let his eyes flutter close as if intimidated by Kihyun's gaze and it made the younger boy chuckle a little. And how could he stop himself then from placing his lips against Hyunwoo's, how could he deny himself the heavenly pleasure that was just feeling Hyunwoo's warm mouth against his, how could he not kiss him like it was the last thing he ever wanted to do in his life?

A hushed hustle in the kitchen makes Kihyun snap out of his thoughts. He cannot stop himself from jumping off the bed swiftly, and tiptoeing his way to the door. The floor is cold and it doesn't help that he's not wearing any socks, and his pyjama is just a casual t-shirt and shorts. He can feel goosebumps start to form on his skin but he brushes it off, knowing he should be used to the lack of proper heating in the building. The door creeps open and he sees a silhouette make its way around the kitchen area. 

"Joo?" Kihyun calls out softly before walking into the room, quiet as if there was anyone else besides them he could disturb by making any noise. Jooheon's head peaks out from the open door of the fridge and he closes it with his elbow after picking a late night snack from the inside. 

"Can't sleep?" the boy asks Kihyun casually and it's true that lately the older has had trouble sleeping soundly. Jooheon said it could be insomnia, that he should do something about it before he exhausts himself completely. Even offered to cuddle him to sleep a few times but they both own two small simple beds that didn't offer enough comfort for proper cuddling sessions. Even if it was easier for Kihyun to fall asleep in his friend's warm welcoming embrace, waking up in the middle of the night with the boy's knee perched up against his ass wasn't a great experience. And to his dismay Jooheon moved _a lot_ in his sleep. Strangely enough he had no trouble sleeping at Hyunwoo's place. Strangely enough it was the only time he woke up in the morning and felt truly well-rested, that he can even remember. 

"Hyung? What's wrong?" Jooheon seems to take his silence as a worrying signal and abandons his food to step towards him and take a better look at his friend's state. Which was pathetic, to say the least — a beaten up child shaking from the cold and his constant urge to cry, as if crying could fix _anything_. 

Kihyun doesn't even know where to begin. He just waits in silence as Jooheon approaches him and wraps his arms around him gently, and once again he just feels so small, overwhelmed by someone else's presence over him yet safe, nevertheless.

Jooheon keeps asking what's wrong, not pushy but worried, more than anything. Yet Kihyun remains stubborn, even in the moments he shouldn't, even when he wants nothing more than to let himself be vulnerable. Jooheon leads them to his room, one slightly bigger than Kihyun's or at least appearing that way due to the lack of furniture. A bed, a desk and one wardrobe, that's all Jooheon seems to need. But he still manages to make a mess out of all three, as well as the floor and they stumble over some box that crunches loudly under Kihyun's feet before his roommate kicks it away. If Kihyun was in a better state he'd yell at him to pick it up, that they have a trash can for a reason but he doesn't even care at this point. His room has been a mess lately too, for Kihyun's standards at least, and it shows how hectic his life has been through his lack of will to clean their apartment up.

Kihyun lets himself flop down on the bed next to Jooheon, throw his arm around the boy's side and press his face as close to his chest as he can but it's still too far from comfort. 

"Get it off your chest, Kihyun." Jooheon encourages followed by a yawn and Kihyun considers just falling asleep on his friend's knees instead for a moment. 

"He knows." 

Jooheon brings his hand up to stroke Kihyun's hair, a comforting and very welcome gesture. "Hyunwoo?" he asks "You told him?" 

Kihyun's heart lets itself be known again by stinging abruptly and the sensation seems to make him let down his guard as he lets a few tears fall down his face and onto Jooheon's grey hoodie. 

"He saw me at the club." Kihyun admits timidly and plays with his fingers to regain some sort of control over his body and senses.

"He came there? Without knowing about your job, though?" Jooheon seems to be asking all the wrong questions, to Kihyun's mind "The fuck?"

"I don't know Joo, his friends were there." Kihyun says through gritted teeth, every second he's forced to talk being an absolute nightmare. "He saw me. And I couldn't even explain anything before I got dragged back in. I'm so stupid. I should have stayed, just let them fire me..." the boy sobs and Jooheon presses his lips gently against the top of his head. His hands are warm and chubby, feeling exactly like the comfort Kihyun needs and his lips are so plump, the way they form into the most pitiful but also angry pout makes Kihyun's heart melt. He wants to bring himself up and place a kiss against those lips, dig his face into the crook of Jooheon's neck and tell him how thankful he is for his friendship. At times it feels like the boy is all he has. 

Kihyun tells Jooheon the frantic details of their conversation and the regret settled in his mind starts to drill itself further into his brain. He knows it was inevitable in the end, and the shame he felt in that moment made him completely break down. Hyunwoo thought he was just a stripper. _Just_. He didn't have to tell him anything else. But somehow the man has become someone so incredibly important to him, over those last few weeks, he could not hide the truth from him any longer or the guilt would swallow him whole. It was strange, falling for someone so deeply but so refreshing and freeing at the same time. When he was with Hyunwoo, he wanted to live. And now he had to let himself come to terms with the possibility of never being allowed to hold Hyunwoo's hand again.

"He'll reach out to you, if he's as good as you say. If he deserves you, hyung." Jooheon whispers as they're curled up against each other and the sun slowly creeps its way up the sky, but Kihyun doesn't really believe him.

It's him who doesn't deserve Hyunwoo.

 

( . . . )

The club is strangely stuffy tonight and Kihyun wonders if someone forgot to turn the air conditioning on or if he's simply getting sick. His body might be finally rebelling and he wouldn't blame it at all.

He tried to ignore the events of the previous night the whole morning. Or, well, the afternoon, as he and Jooheon woke up with their backs hurting at past noon. Kihyun was happy about it, he had less time to worry and he tried to keep his mind busy by studying for his theatre classes yet his mind was reluctant to let him do it properly. 

The big mirror in the staff room offers a pathetic image and he decides that he looks absolutely horrible. As a result he ends up putting a ridiculous amount of makeup on his face if only to conceal the dark circles around his eyes and what's left of the slowly healing bruise. When he doesn't have any foundation on, it just looks like his face is rotting.

He stopped feeling stressed before performances after the very first few. Then he found this comfortable mindset that he let himself delve into every time he stepped on stage, learned how to enjoy having the public's eyes on him, lost himself in the music where he felt like he belonged. But this time his stomach is twisting mercilessly, and he keeps looking over at the big clock on the wall, dreading how fast the hour of his performance approaches. It isn't singing he is afraid of, or the performance itself, it is the uncertainty. He doesn't know what's worse: walking on stage and seeing the usual spot he focuses his eyes and all his attention on every night, only to find it empty, or him actually being there, and Kihyun having to look him in the eye. He might just completely melt in that moment, but not the way he usually does when Hyunwoo looks at him with such an adoring and overwhelming gaze. This time, from shame. 

Kihyun adjusts his bowtie, despite already feeling like it's choking him and cutting off any air that might help make his head less dizzy.

Deep breaths. Fix your posture. Smile. 

He didn't really need to worry so much about what he'd do if he was there. Maybe he shouldn't have looked. Maybe if he pretended like he never met Hyunwoo here, like he hasn't given his best every night up until today only to impress the man, who always waited in the same spot, just to watch him sing for an hour; maybe if he hasn't made the sole purpose of  _singing_  relate entirely to Hyunwoo — maybe then his heart wouldn't break under the emptiness that settled in his chest when his eyes didn't spot him. 

It is desperate, scanning through the room to search for him, he knows. Thankfully he gets himself together quickly, and starts his song routine, trying to focus entirely on his job. He's grateful he's got some control over his mind left after all.

( . . . )

The night is chilly and the city is quiet. Kihyun walks home with a tired mind and a tired body, practically dragging his feet behind him and regretting he didn't call a cab after all. He is used to walking back home in the evening after his job is done, knows the exact path that gets him there the quickest, but the 20 minute walk still seems like hell when all he wants is to lie in bed and let his brain shut down.

He hasn't been sleeping well but he also hasn't been taking proper care of his other needs, and more importantly, his mental state. Hyunwoo helped, probably without even knowing, but now Kihyun realises it isn't healthy to rely on someone else for your well being. It turns you into the wreck Kihyun can only call himself now. In between two jobs and actually attending university — the only reason he even overworks himself like this for — he can't seem to find any time for himself, and Jooheon has pointed it out to him many times. Maybe he'll invite his friend out to the movies some time soon. Maybe they should go clubbing? They could probably both use some solid drinks. 

The old building where their shared flat is located makes itself into Kihyun's vision and he almost breaks a smile when he realises he's finally _home_ , but for some reason he gets a sudden uneasy feeling. He looks over his shoulder and sees only some cars in the small parking lot that belongs to the residents, surrounded by short trees with very few crumbling leaves left on them. Nothing out of the ordinary, but one's mind can play tricks on them, especially when they're walking through this area all alone in the late hours. 

Kihyun's heart threatens to beat out of his chest when the quiet but distinctive sound of an engine starting startles him. He wants to slap himself at how easily he gets scared. _Like a kid_ , he thinks to himself.

He hears the vehicle draw nearer but he keeps up his pace and keeps on walking down the ruined pavement leading to the building. He expects the car to drive past him so he can then get a look at it, but after a moment he finds it strange that it hasn't done that just yet. 

And then he turns his head and sees the car right behind him. And his heart freezes and goes up to his throat when he recognizes the model, and remembers looking out the window onto the glittering city outside of it just a couple of weeks ago. 

Kihyun sees the window roll down and a chill goes over his spine, one almost paralising as if spread by poison, but it is just his overwhelming fear of confrontation letting itself known now of all times. And, blaming it on that fear, he doesn't move, doesn't take a step forward or make any effort to see through the dark front window of the vehicle. 

The driver doesn't follow suit and doesn't give Kihyun's heartbeat enough time to go back to normal, as he slowly opens the car door from which a broad figure steps out. He's wearing a simple t-shirt with a denim jacket over it, and his hair is hidden under a black cap, one that makes it harder to see his face but Kihyun feels like he doesn't really need to see it. He would rather not look in those eyes. He's scared of what he'll find in them.

The man doesn't approach him, he rests one of his arms on the dark metal covering the car door as if hesitating whether to close it after stepping away from it or after getting back in and proceeding to drive away.

Kihyun feels strangely indifferent in the moment. He isn't sure whether he's just completely lost control over his tired out mind or if it came to the conclusion that nothing really matters. Right now he is just stuck on this pavement, and considering the options he has in his current situation. There are but a few and all sounding simple. Talk, wait, walk away.

"Did I scare you?" Hyunwoo asks from over the road and Kihyun blinks himself back to reality. 

He shakes his head.

"Didn't know when you'd get home, I just figured..." he stops for a moment and sighs, but Kihyun finds his tone gentle, almost apologetic. The way you talk to your dog after you've just accidently stepped on its tail and feel guilty for making it whine.

"I just waited." Hyunwoo states a bit shyly and Kihyun tries to wrap his mind around the fact that Hyunwoo's been waiting, probably for a while now, in this parking lot, fishing out for the moment he walks back home just to approach him.

"Do you want to... get in?" he asks hesitantly after Kihyun's prolonged silence and the boy realises he's probably making himself look really hostile right now, hence the way Hyunwoo is being so careful with this awkward exchange. "To talk, I mean." 

"Yea." Kihyun answeres and clears his throat to try again one more time, more firmly "Yes."

He closes the door behind him as he feels his back sink into the soft seat of Hyunwoo's Audi. What follows is more silence, and as uncomfortable as he is with it, he's kind of gotten used to it being such a frequent visitor between the two of them. 

Hyunwoo has his hands on the top of the wheel despite not even starting the car and Kihyun hears him inhale deeply, as he risks to take a look at the driver. He isn't staring back at him, his eyes focused straight ahead and in that moment Kihyun just wishes he knew what Hyunwoo thought of him. If he hated him, despised him, if he was mad, disgusted, confused. He just wishes he knew so he could somehow prepare himself to hold a proper conversation. And the overwhelming awarness that he should be the one to talk first, aplogise a million times, _explain_ , it settles deep in his brain but instead of pushing him to actually speak, it seems to make him lose the ability to do so completely.

Hyunwoo seems to catch him staring and Kihyun watches his shoulders drop down, seeming less tense all of a sudden as the man looks over at him for just a moment before asking, "Should we go for a drive?"

Kihyun wants to agree but hesitates how to answer. Really, why does talking have to be so complicated?

"If you want. Yes." Those seem to be two totally different answers but he settles for them.

Hyunwoo drives out of the parking lot and onto the dark streets that Kihyun doesn't even care enough to recognise. 

"Hyunwoo..." he starts quietly, as if just saying his name could somehow be enough. 

He doesn't expect an answer, rather takes a moment to gather his thoughts and follow up but to his surprise he gets one anyway.

"Yes, Kihyunnie?" Hyunwoo follows up and Kihyun can feel his stomach explode. It's like instead of urging him to speak Hyunwoo just took away his entire ability to do so, and perhaps a small spark of hope lit up in his mind instead. 

Kihyun ignores the blush rising up to his cheeks and the funny feeling that is his stomach's reaction to the way Hyunwoo said his name. He breathes in, and out, the air around cold enough to calm him down a bit before he adjusts himself in the seat and aims to try again. But Hyunwoo is faster, even this time, his face still almost frozen with a neutral unchanging expression.

"I'm nervous too." he says, unprompted and Kihyun swears he hears a little forced and bitter chuckle leave Hyunwoo's chest as well. "It's alright. We can just be silent for now." the man states as if it was completely indifferent to him and Kihyun turns around to hide his face and look out the window.

Driving in silence isn't any better. If anything it's completely maddening. Kihyun wants to look over at Hyunwoo so badly because, as silly as it sounds, even if it was just one day, he's missed looking at his face so much. He misses watching him smile, but then he reminds himself that and this entire situation are his fault.

"Can you pull over somewhere?" 

Hyunwoo looks at him as if to make sure he heard him right but doesn't say anything, and then a minute later he slows down and lets the car stumble into an empty driveway, before slowly turning the keys until the engine goes completely silent. 

"Sorry for kidnapping you in the middle of the night." Hyunwoo jokes, trying to warm up the atmosphere but Kihyun is too far gone and his mind is already tumbling down. 

"You weren't at the club tonight." Kihyun says and curses himself for how accusing he sounds, but he can't stop himself from almost whining at the fact. He doesn't blame Hyunwoo. He's just upset.

"I didn't know if you wanted to see me there."

Of course he fucking did.

"I'm sorry." Kihyun finally chokes out. "I'm really sorry. About everything. I really want to explain..."

He sees Hyunwoo shuffle in his seat in the corner of his eye and turns his head, only to see the man facing him, head tilted and a small warm reassuring smile hiding somewhere in the corners of his lips. _Safe_. 

So Kihyun does the same, kicks his bag under the seat slightly as he brings his leg up and pushes his back against the side door. He lowers his gaze, because even if he is brave enough to finally speak up, eye contact is definitely too much.

"It sounds stupid. But I just couldn't tell you. Didn't know how and when... I also, deep down, just really didn't want to." he admits and feels the first tears form in his eyes. _Here we go_.

There is this thing about Hyunwoo. He makes all of Kihyun's defences tumble down, without even doing anything. It's a strange feeling, wanting to just truly be yourself around someone. Not wanting to hide behind a false demeanour despite being so used to it.

"You saw me as something so different from the truth. And I was just _so fucking scared_. What you'd think of me if you knew how I really was. What you must think now."

It feels like he's just stumbling over his words but he lets them flow.

He's silent for a moment and so is the world around them. "I lied to you about something else too." 

Hyunwoo furrows his eyebrows but doesn't say anything, just listens. Kihyun tries to bite down on his tears and force them back inside his eyes but that might not be entirely possible.

"I didn't get beat up at uni." he admits and follows as Hyunwoo's eyes travel all over his face, which is intimidating, to say the least. "I told my boss I want to quit... _that part_ of the job. And he agreed, I was only supposed to work shifts on stage from then on. But one of the... my client..." he sighs deeply as he feels his hands start to shake. "He wasn't happy that I wanna stop. He went crazy when I denied him, and he was stronger than me, I couldn't really do much and before the security stepped in he managed to smack me on the face like that. I couldn't tell you that, so I made up that lie about-"

"Kihyun."

He stops as he's interrupted, guilt and shame pushing him down into the cushions and making him look even smaller, as if hell was opening up to welcome him already.

"I'm sorry..." 

"Come here."

Kihyun shamelessly wipes his tears up with his sleeves before he looks up, his vision still blurred and his mind beyond confused.

"Stop talking, please. Just come here." Hyunwoo gestures over before he pushes his seat back and holds out a hand to help Kihyun awkwardly make his way onto his lap. 

And when Kihyun feels his hands touch and wrap themselves around Hyunwoo's torso, he's not sure whether he's still crying from sadness or from his newfound happiness.

Hyunwoo presses his lips against his head and Kihyun thinks this might really be one of the most comforting things in life, but Hyunwoo's grip is tight on his back, stiff as if angry. 

"Did he... Did that fucker touch you, do anything to you-" Hyunwoo says through gritted teeth and he's almost fuming.

"No." Kihyun shakes his head violently. "He didn't. They took him away. He's not allowed in there anymore." He manages to shoot back, trying to dismiss Hyunwoo's doubts.

"If I could only get my hands on him..." 

Kihyun smiles despite how bitter it feels, seeing that Hyunwoo still _cares_ makes his heart beat again, the way it's supposed to. He tugs in closer, so thankful that Hyunwoo is allowing him to do this. That he's letting him in, so thankful for the warmth of his embrace. Hyunwoo is too good for him. In every way. He is undeserving of this.

"I'm really sorry." Kihyun mutters against Hyunwoo's chest. 

"Don't apologise. Please, don't apologise anymore."

Kihyun knew it before, but this time he's fully assured — there is no place safer than in Hyunwoo's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, as some of you may know ive been struggling with both a horrible writers block and a lot of personal stuff thats been affecting my free time and ability to write. but im so happy to say that im actually really satisfied with this chapter :) and i promised myself to only post things im proud of, from now on.
> 
> nevertheless, im really really REALLY sorry for the late updates :(
> 
> i am also super sad that this fic is coming to an end.. i have so much fun writing this and love delving into this au and really hope i come up with something new ill enjoy this much soon! but for now, look forward to the next chapter with some more positive notes and, of course, the promised wedding!!
> 
> thank you so much for reading and being so patient with me ♡


	7. Chapter 7

"Why did you dye your hair this colour?"

Minhyuk shifts on the couch and turns his head to look at Hyunwoo's face down from the man's lap.

"Do you not like it?" he asks almost accusingly. "I told you, white symbolises purity. And I'm the bride to be, I gotta look pure and pretty." Minhyuk pouts as his eyebrows furrow and Hyunwoo tries not to look like the boy's words are extremely funny to him. 

"I think he looks just the prettiest." Hyungwon yells from the kitchen, as if anyone asked him to join the conversation. 

"Thanks baby!" Minhyuk yells back with a wide smile that immediately surfaces on his pale face and Hyunwoo just rolls his eyes as he forces the boy to lie back down and continues playing with his hair. 

It's crazy that these two idiots are getting married in three days and they're just calmly sitting on the couch and watching the news as Hyungwon tries to figure out how to prepare the frozen dumplings they're supposed to eat for dinner. 

"You know, hyung, just because you have a boyfriend now doesn't mean you can't objectively find other men attractive. You can just tell me I'm pretty, I'll accept the compliment and we'll move on." 

"He's not my boyfriend, Minhyuk." 

Minhyuk just shrugs. "Not yet. Right?" 

Hyunwoo decides not to respond, he wouldn't know what to say anyway. He isn't sure what they are, but as long as Kihyun has no problem with it, he doesn't either. 

"He looked really hot in that club, you know?" The boy decides to be the annoying shit he is and continues talking. Sometimes Hyunwoo wonders if Minhyuk really can't tell when he wants him to drop a subject, or if his life goal is to make Hyunwoo uncomfortable on any occasion he gets.

"Like you'd know. You were completely shitfaced. If I hadn't told you it was him you probably would've had him do a lap dance for you."

Maybe Hyunwoo shouldn't have said that out loud because now the idea of Kihyun giving someone a lap dance will be permanently carved into his brain.

"All I'm saying is you got yourself a good one." the younger boy continues as Hyunwoo pushes a few white strands of hair behind his ear. "I'm glad you guys worked things out."

"Yeah. Me too." Hyunwoo responds a little too quietly. 

"Am I supposed to just dump these in the water?" Hyungwon interrupts in a serious tone as he eyes the packet he's holding in his hands. 

"Heat it up first." Minhyuk advises. 

They hear Hyungwon shuffle around the kitchen and Hyunwoo just hopes either of them doesn't burn the flat down one of these days. They'd surely come live with him then and even his psyche isn't strong enough to handle that.

"I really hope there'll be a lot of leftovers from the wedding, so we can have food for months." Hyungwon comments and Minhyuk seems to agree very much. Hyunwoo can't help but let out a chuckle before focusing his eyes on the tv and sinking himself further into the couch.

He's actually excited for saturday, way more than he lets on. He thinks he'll be glad once all this is over and he can't pretend he's not proud of himself for helping organise it. As long as it works out, and Hyungwon and Minhyuk are annoyingly adressing each other per husband by the end of the night, he'll be the happiest, most relieved person on earth. 

Pretty much all matters to do with the wedding night are settled, except for his own outfit. He planned on just wearing one of the suits he owns and often goes to work in but Minhyuk demanded for their guests and especially groomsmaids to have a strict dresscode that matched the colour theme. And Hyunwoo definitely doesn't have a white or pink suit just lying around his apartment. He really doesn't think those colours suit him at all. 

In the end, despite being tired out of his mind after a long, eventful week, Hyunwoo decides to spend his thursday on doing some shopping, instead of staying in bed till noon as he desired. 

 

( . . . )

The weather is surprisingly warm and sunny for this time of the year, which makes Hyunwoo a little happier. Picking an outside venue was a risky choice, and the past two weeks he's been praying for it not to rain on the special day. The forecasts are in his favour however and that just gets one small worry off his mind. 

"Will you tell me where we're going?" 

Hyunwoo smiles as Kihyun nudges on his leg from the passenger seat, looking a little impatient and gloomy but Hyunwoo knows it's just an act. 

"Don't distract me. I gotta focus on driving if you don't want us to crash." 

Kihyun furrows his eyebrows as he eyes Hyunwoo's amused face, and for a moment it seems like he issues a death sentence on the man with just his stare. Nevertheless he lets Hyunwoo drive without questioning him further, and cranks up the volume of the radio with a gasp when a song that Hyunwoo doesn't really recognise comes on. Kihyun taps his foot and sings along quietly and Hyunwoo thinks it's absolutely adorable.

Deep down Hyunwoo can still feel the stiffness in the air. Despite spending a long evening listening to Kihyun's explanations, assuring him he isn't mad and they'll work things out, and letting him sob into his chest as he himself tried hard to hold back his tears — Hyunwoo still feels like there's something left unspoken between them. Kihyun isn't the same as he was before and it makes him think there's something wrong. But then he wonders if that even was the real Kihyun,  _before_. Everyone hides behind a more glorified persona, especially when it comes to strangers who you want to impress. And that's what Kihyun wanted to do, he wanted to make sure Hyunwoo finds him interesting. Appropriate. He muffled his face in Hyunwoo's chest as he told him he doesn't think he's good enough.

And all Hyunwoo wants, is for Kihyun to be honest with him. About everything, about himself, about his life, his friends, his school, his job. He wants the boy to know he can be trusted, that he accepts him whatever his faults may be. And he wants to see him smile, laugh shamelessly, be grumpy and lazy and naggy and whatever else Kihyun might be. He wants to see him off stage, without make up, in his own huge old t-shirts, he wants to see him every morning when he wakes up in bed. But he's too awkward with words to even begin explaining that to him, the first part at the very least. 

Hyunwoo hits the breaks with a sudden force when his eyes catch the bright red light above him a little too late, and sees Kihyun's body be yanked forward only to get stopped midway by the safety belt. 

He curses instictively. 

"Are you alright?" His heart starts beating a little too fast but Kihyun seems unharmed at first glance.

"I didn't know you were serious about crashing the car." The boy comments nonchalantly as he adjusts the seatbelt back to its proper position. 

"You distracted me..."

"I didn't even do anything!" 

_You didn't have to._

 

Kihyun stretches as he gets out of the car. The weather is so pleasant and the sun shines down on him, making him glow in ways Hyunwoo can't even describe. His hair glistens in the light, until it looks more grey-blue than coal black and Hyunwoo has to blink a few times to convince his mind standing before him is his pretty little singer, and not an actual angel. But hell, he might as well be.

Hyunwoo locks the car and stands by it, just admiring the moment, as Kihyun looks around the street they're parked on. Another expensive area of the city, filled with people whose hands are full of paper bags, parading around as if they were in some Hollywood movie. Hyunwoo just shoves his wallet into the wide pocket of his dark blue jeans and nods for Kihyun to follow him. 

"Will you finally tell mewhy the hell I'm here?" Kihyun runs up to him and follows him along the sidewalk, hands in his pocket as his legs struggle to keep up with Hyunwoo's pace.

"I need your help."

Kihyun furrows his eyebrows. "That can mean many things." he observes very accurately "Did you do something illegal?"

"Not yet." Hyunwoo responds calmly. 

"Good." the younger boy hums "Wouldn't want you going off to do crime without me."

Hyunwoo smiles at him and Kihyun seems a little awkward in return. Maybe he shouldn't be stressing the poor boy out like this and be honest about his plans for today, but really, where's the fun in that?

They make their way through the large see-through doors of their destination, and the cold fresh air in the building feels like a nice change from the stuffiness of the outside. The shop somehow  _smells_  new and expensive, and Hyunwoo automatically straightens his posture as he suddenly feels the need to fit in more. He greets one of the workers that met them at the door while Kihyun eyes his surroundings suspiciously. 

The suits decorating the unnaturally perfectly built mannequins look like theyre made out of the most delicate materials, the cleaniness and elegance of them makes Hyunwoo almost forget that they're actually made for wearing, not as art pieces to only be looked upon. Kihyun seems to be staring at them too, but as soon as his eyes dart down to the small tag at one of the mannequin's feet, he turns to face Hyunwoo abruptly.

The boy tugs at his arm and his voice is but a whisper.

"Have you seen the prices on these, hyung?" he sounds somewhere between worried and outraged. 

Hyunwoo just smiles softly at him.

"Trying them on doesn't cost anything." he comments and sees a shop assistant make her way towards them. 

 

The fitting rooms look like a different place completely. The area is large enough to fit a couch in front of each of the red curtains separating the large wall mirror from the rest of the world, giving both privacy and a great ammount of space to change peacefully. 

Kihyun drags his hand gently over the delicate grey material of the couch, feeling the soft fiber grace his palm. Sitting there is like having his butt sink into a cloud, so he lets himself relax as he crosses his legs and lets his head fall back. 

"Can I get you anything sir? Tea or coffee perhaps?" he yanks his head back up quickly, startled by the question coming from somewhere so close by as he didn't realise he wasn't alone in his little paradise.

He mumbles a little awkward "No, thank you." before the shop assistant sends him a friendly smile and says if he changes his mind, she will be out in the shop. 

Kihyun isn't sure if he'd have to pay for the coffee so he decides to pass, despite it being a tempting offer. 

There's a bunch of fashion magazines laid out in front of him so he scans his eyes through the pages with a small sigh. He pretends not to see the ridiculous amounts of money that they expect people to pay for a suit that looks the same as the one he bought on amazon for 10 times cheaper and that serves him well to this day. 

There has been no sign of contact from Hyunwoo in a while after he shut the heavy curtains behind him and Kihyun is starting to get a little impatient. 

He's tempted to peek inside as he approaches the dressing room in front of him but he decides to just call out Hyunwoo's name instead. 

"Just a second." Hyunwoo yells back a little too loudly, considering they're still in the same room only separated by a piece of material so he can hear him more than well enough. 

Kihyun walks back to settle himself on the couch and waits patiently for a minute or two more. Hyunwoo's entrance is way too dramatic for him but it makes Kihyun smirk, the silliness in his voice as he announces the curtains are about to drop and reveal him. But when they do his smirk disappears and instead he inhales deeply without even realising, until his chest feels too tight underneath his shirt. 

He never knew Hyunwoo could look this good in pure white. From head to toes — a creamy vest covered by a white jacket, that made his shoulders look more broad than Kihyun ever thought was possible. The pants were more loose and crinkled, but somehow in the most neat way possible, as if they were designed to fit Hyunwoo's legs and his only, a black belt holding them up, slightly covered by the vest and the white heavenly delicate shirt underneath it, and a black handkerchief peeking out from the pocket on his jacket, being the only other things helping his dark hair and tanned skin break away from the overwelmight brightness of the outfit.

"I think I like this one the most." Hyunwoo states as he puts his hands in and out of the pockets of his pants and tries to push the edges of the jacket in front of himself for a second, to see how far it stretches. "What do you think?"

Kihyun has been silently eyeing him this whole time and only when Hyunwoo actually looks at him to get an opinion does he realise his jaw is dropped just a little too much. 

He turns his head to the side with a small smile, trying not to look like Hyunwoo just almost made his pants drop on sight. 

"You look like an angel." Is the first compliment that comes to his mind. 

Hyunwoo turns around to face himself in the mirror one more time. He hums in amusement. "An angel? That's not exactly what I was going for."

Kihyun bites his bottom lip as he watches Hyunwoo turn and flex in front of the mirror for a couple more seconds. 

"So you like it, yes?" he looks at Kihyun's reflection on the couch, visible perfectly through his ride shoulder, searching for assurance.

"Yeah. I like it a lot." Kihyun admits "You look sexy."

Hyunwoo raises his eyebrows a little, but Kihyun just continues.

"Do you want me to take a picture?" 

"No need." he shakes his head and a moment later the same short haired lady that offered Kihyun a drink before comes to check up on them.

"That looks incredible on you, sir." Kihyun might be exaggerating but he swears he can see her dark eyes hungrily eating Hyunwoo alive right where he stands.

 _Careful or you'll start to drool._  He comments to himself, but he wishes he could say it out loud, a spike of what he doesn't want to admit is jealousy stabbing him skillfully in the stomach.

"Seems this size fits you perfectly." she starts walking towards the man and gently but sneakily brings her hand up to soothe it down Hyunwoo's arm. "Is it comfortable?"

Kihyun bites at his cheek hard to stop himself from standing up and acting out. 

"Yeah." Hyunwoo responds calmly. 

"Isn't the belt a little too tight?" she inquires before a follow up question that drives Kihyun over the edge. "Would you like me to adjust it?"

"I think it's just perfect." Kihyun growls from his seat, somehow trying to keep his voice as sweet and composed as he can. "Isn't it, hyung?"

"Yeah, it's good." Hyunwoo hums as he tugs at the belt, eyes still focused on his reflection, as if oblivious to the obnoxious flirting that he is being made the target of.

The shop assistant turns her head to Kihyun for a second and he decides to use the moment her eyes finally unglued themselves from Hyunwoo. 

"We'll call for you if we need anything." he offers her a forced smile and what he hopes is a meaningful enough look to have her back off.

She challenges his gaze for a second before putting her work smile back on and nodding her head. 

"Wait," Hyunwoo calls out before she leaves and Kihyun turns his head to look at him. His neck snaps a little when he does so, and he decides he needs to calm down before he hurts himself in his silly internal rage. 

"Could you bring me the other suits I was looking at earlier? Smaller sizes, as I said." 

She blinks back at him before storming off. "It will be my pleasure."

_Of course it will._

Hyunwoo goes back into the dressing room to change out of his outfit and when Kihyun sees the shop assistant make her way back with a bunch of hangers heavy with another set of suits, he stands up before she can approach Hyunwoo behind the curtains and to her dismay, relieves her of the clothes she was probably hoping to hand to the man personally.

A small victory for Yoo Kihyun.

He feels almost proud of himself, once she finally leaves them alone again.

This time Hyunwoo appears back wearing his dad jeans and the black tank top he left the house in, but Kihyun can't lie and say he looks any less hot than in his previous outfit.

"You haven't started changing yet?" 

"Huh?" Kihyun looks up at him in confusion before the older man takes the newly brought clothes in his hands and rushes Kihyun to the changing room. "These are for you. Come on, try them on."

Kihyun eyes the suits Hyunwoo presents in front of him. Various shades of pastel pink, not really his favourite colour. 

Hyunwoo seems insistent though, and when he gets a bit too close to his ear whispering that he thinks Kihyun will look sexy in these too, that's when he decides to hurriedly take the hangers into his small hands and close the curtains up, if only to escape Hyunwoo's glare. 

 

"This one is fine, I guess."

Kihyun isn't sure if Hyunwoo's eyes seem to agree but they're definitely travelling all over his body and it makes him step back a little and look down to make sure he zipped his pants up correctly and nothing looks out of the ordinary.

"You look so pretty." Hyunwoo says dreamily when his eyes stop to look into Kihyun's. He's sitting on the couch Kihyun previously resided on, and the boy feels like he's on the runway being judged by the prying eyes of his one-man jury. 

"How are the new pieces, gentlemen?" 

The jury just got bigger, to Kihyun's annoyance. 

The shop assistant stops to look at Kihyun, but there's definitely no hunger in her stare this time. "Isn't the size a little too big? Should I bring a smaller one for you to try on, sir?"

Kihyun furrows his eyebrows and for a moment stops to consider if his clothes indeed don't look too loose. 

"No, he looks hot like this." Hyunwoo says in the most unbothered voice ever, as if it was completely normal for him to be calling Kihyun hot in front of this lady. 

"You think so?" Kihyun asks a bit too shyly as he feels the blush treacherously rise up to his cheeks.

"Yeah. We'll take it."

"What?" Kihyun can't help but question what he just heard and Hyunwoo seems to catch the confused look on his face.

"Oh? Does it not fit?" Hyunwoo asks him genuienly and Kihyun just assumes that maybe Hyunwoo is playing a game, so he decides to help out by turning to the obnoxious shop assistant.

"Oh, I don't know." he pouts a little as he turns again just to look in the mirror. "I can't decide. Doesn't it make me look fat? I don't think it shows off my great butt well enough." Hyunwoo giggles and the shop assistant looks like she wants to comment on that, but obviously doesn't. "I'll just try the other ones on again!" 

The lady seems a little dumbfounded by his act but looks over at Hyunwoo and announces that it's okay for them to "take their time".

Kihyun doesn't know how many more times he can nicely try to get rid of her before he breaks. 

"Do you really not want it? I think your butt looks great, to be honest." Hyunwoo blurts out when he sees it's just the two of them again. 

"What do you mean?" Kihyun chuckles "Did you forget where we are? Even if I wanted it I wouldn't be able to afford it." he looks over at Hyunwoo, now being a little more suspicious than puzzled.

"Oh." Hyunwoo seems to be hit with some sort of realisation. "Right." he touches his chin as is his custom and goes silent again.

"I'll change back now." he says slowly as he takes off the soft pink jacket. "We should go for some dinner, I'm bored of this, and hungry." Kihyun announces before he heads back in and finally takes off the expensive clothes and puts them back on the hangers where they belong. For eternity hopefully. That girl shouldn't have a very high paycheck, to his mind. 

 

Hyunwoo takes all the clothes they tried on from the dressing room before Kihyun can finish changing, saying he'll return them to their places, and a little hurriedly makes his way out of there before being caught. 

His plan fails however, when Kihyun approaches him at the counter, in his white t-shirt, with his hair a little messy, probably from putting it on in a hurry. 

"What are you doing?" he tugs at his arm and his lips are pushed into a small straight line.

"I'm paying." Hyunwoo answers honestly as the lady at the cash register turns her back to them to pack his purchase. 

"Wait, did you buy the suit?" Kihyun looks outright shocked despite him trying to act all normal and serious, as the atmosphere of this place probably compells him to.

"Yeah, Ki. It's for the wedding."

"I thought you only wanted to try things on for fun... You should have told me, I would have been a better help at picking one." the boy blabbers, all pouty.

Kihyun is sweet. He is so sweet, and so pure, and so innocent, and so profoundly clueless it almost makes Hyunwoo feel bad, but he also finds it quite cute. 

He remains quiet until the cashier hands him the bag and wishes them a good day. 

He nudges Kihyun towards the exit, passing the lady who assisted them in the dressing rooms on the way. 

"I hope you enjoyed your shopping, sir." She indulges in an attempt to talk to him but Hyunwoo just flashes her a small fake smile as they keep walking.

"We did, thank you." Hyunwoo feels Kihyun attach himself to his arm before they walk away, finally through the doors and onto the wide sunny sidewalk. 

"What an annoying bitch." Kihyun spits out as soon as the doors close behind them.

Hyunwoo laughs in surprise. "What's gotten into you?" he looks down at the boy as he thumps angrily by his side.

"Oh, don't pretend like you didn't see the way she was acting around you the whole time." 

"Is someone jealous?" Hyunwoo asks and Kihyun immediately shoots him a disapproving look. 

"You wish." he says but it's not very believable and Hyunwoo finds it strangely adorable how bothered he seems by the girl's interest in him. "Just give me that bag. How much did this cost anyway?" 

Before Hyunwoo can protest Kihyun already opens the bag with an intention to look through its contents, and the pastel pink material at the very top doesn't seem to escape his eyes. He stops and looks up at the older man, as if he just experienced betrayal in its worse possible form. 

"You're gonna go back there and return it. Now." Kihyun states and his tone really doesn't sound playful anymore. 

"I won't." Hyunwoo begins but it's probably not the best thing to do, outright deny an outraged Kihyun.

"Stop fucking around. Return it right now. I can't believe you'd even fucking do that." 

"It's a gift, Kihyun." 

"A gift?" he yells out, and Hyunwoo expected that to be his reaction, but he had hoped the boy would be having his little fit somewhere else than the middle of a busy street.

"I don't want a gift like that. You know damn well I can't pay you back for that." Kihyun keeps spitting out and at this point Hyunwoo notices his ears have turned red, and he seems to be fidgeting all over the place.

He pouts angrily and it reminds Hyunwoo of the night he opened his door to an angry child stomping his feet before him, nagging him for fucking up their first date. But in the end he thinks he managed to get it right. Kihyun may be a bit moody, but Hyunwoo thinks he could figure out how to soften him up. 

"Okay. We'll return it." Hyunwoo agrees and Kihyun lifts his chin up to look down at him suspiciously "After the wedding."

"No." Kihyun immediately crosses his hands back in front of his chest. 

"Come on, Minhyuk wants everyone to be dressed in white and pink, that's the only reason I even went out to buy a new suit." he stops to take a breath, realising he doesn't sound very convincing.

Hyunwoo comes in closer, a bit too daring perhaps and he may be risking a slap to the face. But Kihyun doesn't seem to flinch up until Hyunwoo leans down to whisper in his ear, and he notices how sweet Kihyun's hair smells.

"Ki, please." he tries to gently place his hands on the boy's hips, holding him in place so he doesn't escape too quickly. "Just for one night. You looked so pretty..." he stops to press his lips against the top of Kihyun's ridiculously red ear. "We'll think about returning it after, deal?"

Hyunwoo feels like he's won because there's a moment of silence where Kihyun doesn't move, just sighs deeply before he remembers he's supposed to be mad and pushes his palm against Hyunwoo's chest. 

His head is lowered but Hyunwoo can see his pretty round cheeks blush slightly and he wants nothing but to hug him in that moment.

The boy sighs. "Whatever." he huffs and pushes the bag abruptly against Hyunwoo's chest as the man struggles to catch it with his hands. "Let's just go home. I'm hungry."

 

( . . . )

Hyunwoo can't help the smirk that creeps up on his face as he picks up the mysterious fluffy object he seemed to accidently lean on while shuffling on Kihyun's bed. 

"Do you sleep with it?" he asks shoving the bear plushie in front of Kihyun's face and making its paws wiggle a bit.

"Shut up. I don't." Kihyun punches his arm and tries to rip the toy out of the man's hand but Hyunwoo doesn't let him.

"It's cute." he states a bit playfully, but he truly means it "I'm glad you have someone to cuddle with when I'm not here." He picks Kihyun's hand up from where it fell resigned on the bed and kisses it lightly before the boy shyly yanks it away.

"Stop teasing me." he warns "I'm still fucking mad at you, so don't give me more reasons to kick you out."

Hyunwoo bites down on his lip to keep himself from giggling. 

"Let me make it up to you."

He leans down to place an experimental kiss on Kihyun's cheek, and seeing no sign of a brutal protest slowly continues his way down his jaw, cupping at the boy's face to give himself better access. 

 

Kihyun is both completely willing to melt in his bed at this exact moment, and being held back by the fact that he still feels like he shouldn't let Hyunwoo win so easily. But he's missed him so much, missed him this close and he brings his hand up to dig it underneath Hyunwoo's shirt. His skin is warm, almost hot to the touch compared to how cold Kihyun's fingers are, Hyunwoo hisses a bit at the contact but that just makes Kihyun dig his other hand in the man's hair and push his head closer to his neck. 

Hyunwoo kisses his skin carefully as if it was expensive like the suits they tried on before. It's a weird feeling, knowing how much Kihyun enjoys this, how badly he loves and craves being pampered, but how anxious he gets after a while because it's strange, it's too much and he doesn't know how to react — at the same time craving more. 

Hyunwoo brings their mouths together, leaning over Kihyun completely as the boy pushes himself up his pillow. The kiss is passionate like they haven't seen each other for years, like Hyunwoo truly  _needs him_ , needs to kiss him and hold him, and Kihyun wants to cry just thinking about it. Hyunwoo's already panting slightly above him and the younger boy finds it endearing, how fast he seems to get worked up. 

Kihyun puts the palm of his hand against Hyunwoo's chest, but this time not to push him away. He tries to feel Hyunwoo's heartbeat through it, and when he does it's fast and rhythmic and loud. He breaks away from the kiss to chuckle ostentatiously. 

"What?" Hyunwoo breathes down, looking at Kihyun's hand but not doing anything to push it away.

"Your heart's beating so fast."

Hyunwoo looks back at him, eyes small under heavy eyelids.

"That's only your fault." he says before going back to placing sloppy kisses all over Kihyun's small face. 

The boy leads Hyunwoo's lips back towards his and he feels like he's starting to go crazy, completely leaving behind his previous mindset of being mad at Hyunwoo. 

He brushes his palm against Hyunwoo's crotch, without much thought but that's how he gets when his mind becomes too hazy. His back arches a bit, as he pushes his chest closer to Hyunwoo's but the other man seems almost frozen.

Hyunwoo detaches his lips from where they were so deliciosly licking at his neck and pushes himself back.

"Let's... Let's not."

Kihyun lets his hand fall alongside his body when he sees Hyunwoo back away with heavy breaths, push his hair back and sit down next to him, a worried and apologetic look painted across his perfect face structures. 

It hits him like a train, the emotions on Hyunwoo's face, the rejection. It hits him like a train and so does the only thought that's been on his mind ever since that damned night at the club. 

"You're disgusted by me."

"What? No, Kihyun-"

Kihyun sits back up, bringing his legs close to his chest, leaving Hyunwoo facing his side, so that he doesn't look him in the eye.

"You're thinking about what I've been doing? With other men? Are you wondering how many there were? If I'm clean?" Kihyun spits back and lets all his emotions pour out, before he can even realise what he's saying. "I am, you know."

He isn't angry. He's not trying to be aggresive. His tone is bland, almost emotionless. He's just saying what's on both of their minds. Truly, he expected those thoughts to grace Hyunwoo's mind. Anyone would think about it, question it, judge him, and he was aware of it. It was stupid of him to have expected anything different but with how wonderful, how completely understanding and ridiculously accepting Hyunwoo's been, he had hoped-

"Kihyun."

"Every client has to provide proof of recent tests. I get tested too. And I use protection. I'm not an idiot, you know, I'm not irresponsible or stupid-"

"Kihyun." Hyunwoo's voice is firm and much louder this time, and he grabs at Kihyun's leg to get his attention. "You talk to much."

Kihyun furrows his eyebrows. What does he mean he talks too much? He's pouring out his fucking soul, being honest like Hyunwoo wanted, and this is the response he gets?

"I trust you." Hyunwoo says and it's somehow just another hard punch to Kihyun's gut. He doesn't understand the words that leave Hyunwoo's mouth. It's like he isn't ever listening to him, like he's having a completely different conversation on his own. It's like he never says what Kihyun wants to hear. 

"Why? Why would you trust me? All I've done is lie to you."

"Are you lying now?"

He asks all the wrong questions. "No..."

"Then I believe you." Hyunwoo moves his palm up and down Kihyun's knee, and it's somehow incredibly soothing. Like every touch he's lucky to get from the man. "And that's not why I stopped, Ki. You don't disgust me. You could never." Hyunwoo looks like he expects Kihyun to answer, but after his sudden outburts the boy's completely shut himself off. 

"Kihyun I care about you so much. That's why I don't want us to rush things anymore. I want to enjoy every moment with you. Because..." Kihyun feels a tear roll down his cheek. He is so weak for that. For starting to cry in front of Hyunwoo yet another time. It isn't like him, he has always been stable emotionally, he never broke down not in front of anyone other than Jooheon. But he is so tired, so exhausted by everything in his life, he just wants to escape. He wants to leave it all behind, but his mind isn't letting him.

"Hey." Hyunwoo stops Kihyun's thoughts from wandering by bringing a hand up to his chin and looking him in the eyes, gentle, always so gentle.

"Because you mean so much to me." 

Kihyun just lets Hyunwoo pull him in for a hug. He feels pathetic. All he's done, all he's ever given Hyunwoo is a bunch of things to worry about, and a sea of tears to wipe away. Yet the man's so good to him. Always. 

"Is that okay with you?" Hyunwoo asks as he strokes Kihyun's hair with slow motions "If we take things at a slower pace?"

Kihyun just nods. He can't deny he wants Hyunwoo, but he admits the desire to just be with him is much stronger. And Hyunwoo's words show something he is so not accustomed to. Care. And a thousand other things he's never truly experienced in a relationship.

 

Hyunwoo keeps kissing his cheeks, dragging his hands through his hair and down his back and Kihyun just clings onto him as hard as he can, feeling the muscles in his arms move underneath his touch.

"I like your neck." Hyunwoo states as he brushes his fingers over the boy's throat.

Kihyun swallows visibly, bringing a shy smile up to his face and Hyunwoo goes to kiss at his skin.

It's funny how fast Hyunwoo can change the topic, how he sometimes seems to say things completely irrelevant to the situation, but oh how sweet.

Hyunwoo's mouth opens wider as he brings it sloppily right underneeth Kihyun's jaw and the boy throws his head back to give him better access. His teeth pull at it but only ever so slightly, to let go mere seconds after and lick a circle somewhere closer to his earlobe.

Kihyun brings himself up and sits completely on Hyunwoo's lap as the man's back is pushed against the off white wall of Kihyun's room. 

Hyunwoo sucks on Kihyun's neck and the boy grabs his arms for more stability, but Hyunwoo detaches his mouth from him way too quickly for Kihyun's liking.

"Don't stop." he whispers and tugs at Hyunwoo's hair lightly.

"It's gonna leave a mark, you know." Hyunwoo's voice is low and breathy against his skin.

"I don't care."

Hyunwoo chuckles softly and traces his finger over the wet spot on Kihyun's neck. "It's a pretty visible place. You still go to school. And work."

"Mmm, so what?" Kihyun places his elbows steadily on Hyunwoo's shoulders as he pushes the man's thick brown hair back. "I won't even cover it up. They can all look at it."

"Mmm, and what if you get fired?" Hyunwoo picks up both on his playful tone and the hands gently petting his head, bringing one of his own to trace a thumb over Kihyun's adorable round cheeks. "I still wanna keep going to your performances, you know."

"You know they made me take time off until this healed." Kihyun points at his eye with his index finger "I can just pretend it hasn't yet."

He shifts in Hyunwoo's lap trying to bring their foreheads closer together but Hyunwoo's eyes are focused on the spot he pointed to a second before. 

"Can I kiss it?"

Kihyun throws his head back and chuckles, caught by surprise. The question is so innocent, as well as the intention behind it, so silly and so heartwarming. So safe and intimate it makes Kihyun want to hide, before he admits to himself what it makes him feel like. But he just nods, and lets Hyunwoo bring his face close to his eye.

He lets his eyelids fall shut, and tries not to move when he feels Hyunwoo's plush lips brush so gently against his cheekbones. One kiss, two kisses, so gentle as if Kihyun was a fresh work of art, and Hyunwoo too afraid to smudge the paint and destroy it. 

"It's healing well though." Hyunwoo comments as he pushes himself away and cups the other side of Kihyun's face gently in his palm.

_So am I._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes so i decided to stretch this out for one more chapter just because i love this fic so much and wanna write more about these lovebirds. 
> 
> this chapter is so... sappy but you know. things arent that easy to sweat out and i felt like i wanted to show that ki is still struggling with lots of stuff my poor baby boy, but things are looking bright. next chapter will be pure fluff and happy endings.
> 
> this chapter is also so much longer than the other ones.... i guess i really got carried away with it hhhh 
> 
> i also have 2 new aus in head and drafted (some kiho and changhyuk woo!) and i hope ill be able to write more often so i can post them soon! 
> 
> anyway enjoy this in the meantime ♡


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